She folded her arms across her chest and stared at him. “Uh-uh. No way. You are going to sleep out in your car. Don’t think I’m gonna give up the room.”

Angel sighed. “Yeah, great, I’ll sleep out in the car. And then I might happen to sleep late, and the sun might come up…”

“So find somewhere else! I want the room!”

Angel looked at Cordelia’s determined expression and knew he wasn’t getting anywhere.

“I could always go and beg Buffy for a spot on the couch,” he sighed, putting on the poor puppy-dog act. Manipulating people’s emotions was something that Angelus would do, not Angel, but he really did need a place to stay.

He saw a smile starting to form on her face and continued. “Go begging… admitting that I’ve nowhere to stay…like an orphan, abandoned and unloved…”

She grinned. “OK, fine. We can handle this, right? I mean, it’s inconvenient, sure, but since there’s nowhere else either of us can stay – or want to – we’re just going to have to deal with it.”

Sure, there was other places they could’ve gone, Angel thought as he watched his roommate for the weekend unpack what seemed like a year’s worth of clothes. But most of those places were the houses of their old friends, and although invitations had been issued, they knew they wouldn’t feel welcome. It had been more than two years since Cordy and Angel had left Sunnydale, and things had changed, people had changed.

He still was in shock over why the two of them were spending the weekend in Sunnydale sharing a room. Well, the room thing was understandable. For a town with such a high mortality rate, the hotels in Sunnydale did pretty good business, and this had been the only room they could find. The whole purpose of their visit to Sunnydale – that was a little tougher to take in.

It involved a wedding, a slayer and a vampire, and the one thing that stunned Angel was that the vampire wasn’t him. He’d imagined scenarios like this, but they always had him in the picture. Not Spike.

The thought that Buffy was actually marrying Spike was, well, ridiculous. For starters, the validity of the actual marriage could be questioned, considering that Spike was technically dead, but according to Willow, Buffy didn’t care about any of that. The idea was to show how committed she was to Spike.

Spike. She was getting married to Spike.

At this stage, he had just about gotten over the sensation of feeling jealous and angry at the thought of the two of them together. He was over Buffy, or tried to be, anyway. But picturing the two of them together… His first instinct was to smash something and demand why Buffy’s mortality had gotten in the way of their relationship, but not her’s and Spike’s. His second instinct was to burst out laughing at the hilarity of the situation. Spike and Buffy had been sworn enemies for years. They’d proclaimed their hatred of the other at every possible opportunity. They’d devised plots to kill one another many times.

And now they were about to get married.

“So, I’m taking these drawers, that OK?” Cordy asked while placing piles of clothing into them. He watched her for a moment. She was so precise, so organised, when it came to her clothes. Too bad he didn’t run a clothes shop instead of helping people.

“Sure,” he shrugged. He was pretty sure that Black Outfit Number One, Black Outfit Number Two and Black Outfit Number Three weren’t going to take up that much space.

“What was the smile for?” she enquired as she emptied out the contents of her make-up bag on the dressing table.

Before he could protest and claim to have not been smiling, she continued, “Don’t lie to me, Broody Boy, that was a definite smile.”

“Buffy and Spike,” he stated, and watched the look of shock appear on her face.

“I’m sorry. You were looking all happy over Buffy and Spike?” she responded incredulously.

“Don’t you find it a bit ironic that they spent so much time trying to kill each other and now they’re getting married?” he asked.

“Uh-huh. Normally the plotting-to-kill happens after the wedding,” she grinned. Then, “So you’re OK with… all of this?”

He debated whether to ask “Buffy and Spike or the bedroom?” but he knew what she meant, and nodded.

And then he wondered why he’d felt the urge to ask her something like that.

Because he was fine with the whole notion of spending the weekend sharing a room…with one double bed. They were friends…nothing more. There was going to be no awkwardness or anything of that nature.

He just wanted to make sure she didn’t think that sharing the room meant that he was going to make a move on her. He wanted her to be comfortable and not have to worry about anything.

Because nothing was going to happen.

She worried about him a lot. She wasn’t sure why, exactly. She never worried this way about Wesley or Gunn. Not the gut-wrenching fear that something might have happened to him. Not the constant analysing of his actions and words, wondering was he OK, wondering what she could do to help.

Cordy blamed herself for a lot of what had happened in the past year. Logically she knew she hadn’t been responsible, but she had gone through hell agonising over the events that had occurred.

She told herself she should have been able to get through to him. Then maybe she could have stopped him from becoming so obsessed with stopping Darla and Drusilla that nothing else mattered. That he had almost gotten himself killed in the process, many times. And that, having cut himself off from his friends, he hadn’t had anyone there to help him.

Until, finally, he’d stopped them, using the same defence he’d tried the first time, fire. An entire block had burnt that night, and he’d almost been a victim of the flames himself. Gunn had been in the neighborhood, and had managed to get Angel out in time.

Things had started to get back to normal after that. Angel Investigations was in business once again, and their relationships with the boss began to return to what they had been.

Sometimes he was still distant, and at those times she could detect traces of what he had been during those days, the creature that wasn’t quite Angel but not Angelus either. She hated what that happened. Even if it was only for a moment, it reminded her of that time when he hadn’t been himself.

He seemed in a good mood today, which she was grateful for. For some strange reason, he was more relaxed than usual. She’d anticipated serious brooding for this weekend. After all, Buffy was getting married. To Spike. That had to hurt. But instead he was fine with it.

“We’d better go see them, let them know we’re here,” she said once she’d finished unpacking. It was dark out by now, and although Buffy would usually be out patrolling, tonight was the hen night. And Spike’s bachelor party.

Cordy wasn’t exactly looking forward to it. A night in with the girls. It wouldn’t be something she’d choose to do. But Buffy had invited her…and so she was stuck with the slayer, the two witches and an ex-demon for the night.

The look on Angel’s face indicated that he wasn’t thrilled at the thought of spending time with the guys. Fantastic, she thought. They were both off to occasions they’d prefer not to be attending. She wondered why exactly Buffy and Spike had invited them. Wasn’t it kind of tacky to invite an ex to your wedding? As for herself…she had no idea. She’d been friends with them in high school, but the keep-in-touch phone calls had been pretty infrequent ever since her move to LA.

“It’s not going to be that bad,” she reassured him as they headed out the door.

“You’re a terrible liar,” he told her.

“Buffy. Hi,” Cordy smiled brightly as the slayer opened the door to the Summers’ home.

Both girls stood there awkwardly for a moment until Buffy grinned. “OK, do we hug or…”

“I think hugging is OK,” Cordy responded, smiling. They hugged, and then Buffy proudly displayed her engagement ring.

“Wow. How thoughtful of him. You can use it as a weapon too!”

“It’s on the big side,” Buffy admitted and then laughed.

She was glowing with happiness, Cordy noted as she entered the house and greeted Willow, Anya, and the other two who she assumed were Tara and Dawn. She’d known about Tara for some time now, but Buffy had only called her the week before to explain about Dawn. Buffy’s little sister appeared to remember who she was, at any rate, so she played along.

“I can’t believe I’m marrying Spike,” Buffy told them, grinning. “I mean - Spike. It’s…”

“Spike!” Willow, Dawn and Anya chorused.

The slayer laughed. “It’s weird, huh? I mean, you can hate someone for so long, and then…wow.”

There it was, that glow again. The way Buffy felt about Spike was written all over her face. She was crazy about him. Cordy sighed. There was just something about that special in-love happiness that made her wish she had a little of that in her life.

She hadn’t been actively looking a guy in her life lately. There had been way too many bad experiences for her to throw herself whole-heartedly into a search for Mr Right. But now she was starting to wish that she could find that Mr Right. If he even existed…

“So, having a good time?” Buffy enquired later that night.

Cordelia nodded. Actually, she was. It probably wasn’t the most exciting thing in the world to be doing, but she guessed that a quiet night in was what Buffy needed, rather than going out partying and end up fighting vampires. She’d caught up with how things were with Willow, and she and Anya had had an interesting conversation about Xander.

“How’s Angel?” Buffy asked her quietly. “I mean, I only spoke to him for a couple of minutes…is he OK with me and Spike?”

“Uh-huh. He’s fine.”

“I thought I should invite him. And Spike wanted to…”

“Buffy, he’s OK with it. Really,” she reassured the blonde.

“Is he seeing anyone?”

“Do you care?”

“I got on with my life. Has he?”

“I’d say he’s over you, yes.”

“Good.”

Cordy debated whether to tell Buffy about the Darla-and-Drusilla incident, but opted not to. It was her wedding day tomorrow, she didn’t need to hear about her ex turning semi-evil over his ex who had been resurrected from the dead…

It was around midnight when Spike, Angel and Xander showed up at Buffy’s house. Apparently after getting into several fights with vampires and consuming a substantial amount of alcohol, they’d gotten bored and decided they needed female companionship.

Instantly Cordy sensed what was about to happen – the coupling process. Sure enough, Xander made a beeline for Anya, and Spike couldn’t tear himself away from Buffy’s side, and Willow and Tara got into the act as well.

She started chatting to Dawn, and Angel introduced himself to Tara. He seemed to be enjoying talking to the two girls, and Cordelia was grateful that there wasn’t a scene where she and Angel were the “left overs” and there was awkwardness… She was very aware that she was acting as if she was back in high school, and she hated herself for being so juvenile about the situation…but being in that kind of situation with Angel wasn’t something she needed. There was going to be enough awkwardness between them later on with the two of them sharing a bedroom.

And a bed.

“So, I’m guessing you and Angel aren’t…” Dawn smiled.

Cordy shook her head. “Nope. Just friends.”

“But you’ve got a crush on him,” the younger girl stated.

“No,” she responded. Out of curiosity she had to ask, “Why do you think that?”

“Well, the way you blushed when he came into the room. Y’know, the way you’re doing now.”

It was somewhere in between her gentle argument and laughing with Dawn and finally saying goodbye to everyone that she began to consider what it would be like to have a relationship with Angel. And whether she really did have feelings for him or not.

“So, you have a good time tonight?” Angel asked Cordy as they walked back to the hotel.

She nodded. “Yeah. It was…fun. How about you? Pick up any girls while you were out?”

He shook his head and decided not to tell her about the conversation he’d had with Spike earlier. Spike had wanted to find someone for Angel, and he’d politely stated that he wasn’t interested.

“It’s not that bloody curse, is it?” Spike had asked. “’Cause I’m not saying you need to shag her. Just have a good time.”

“Spike. Forget it.”

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Spike said with glee. “You’re in love with her.”

“Spike, I’m not in love with Buffy.”

“Not Buffy. Your ex-cheerleader co-worker. Cordelia.”

“I’m not in love with Cordelia.”

Spike snorted. “Sure you’re not.” At this moment he’d made an attempt to be helpful and give advice in a brotherly fashion. “Look, it’s tough admitting you’re in love with one of these mortals, sure. But believe me, you’ll be a lot happier when you do.”

He hadn’t appreciated the advice. He didn’t have any feelings for Cordy. But Spike had seemed so sure…

Spike didn’t know what he was talking about.

But what if he did?

“You’re all broody,” she observed. “C’mon, what happened to happy Angel? I like him better.”

“Well, not that happy,” he reminded her.

“No, good point. We don’t need evil Angel around tonight.”

They walked along in silence for a few moments, and then Cordy asked, “So, does it feel weird? Being back here?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Not just Buffy and Spike, but everyone else. Things have changed.”

“Tell me about it. Anya and Xander are practically engaged, Buffy has a sister…”

“And we’re not a part of it,” he finished her sentence for her.

“Uh-huh. I mean, I know we have our whole life in LA and all, but sometimes I wonder…what would things be like if I’d stayed here?” she looked up at him.

“I wouldn’t have had you as my best friend for the last two years,” he said. Best friend, nothing more, he told himself. He didn’t care about her as a potential love interest. She was just… Cordy. Nothing else.

Then he started wondering if she thought he wanted more than friendship from her.

Things were starting to seem quite complicated. He was going to kill Spike.

It was going to be fine, Cordy told herself as she lay waiting in the bed for Angel to get in. He was still in the bathroom at the moment.

It wasn’t as if she had a crush on her boss or anything. But maybe…maybe…maybe she would murder Dawn for putting these thoughts in her head. She was in the process of considering the implications of everything she’d said that night and wondering was there a hidden meaning.

Then she started wondering whether Angel thought she had a crush on him and whether he humored her.

She was going to kill Dawn.

He got into the bed beside her, and they lay there in awkward silence.

She shifted position, and her arm brushed against his chest. “Sorry!” she said instantly. What if he thought she was trying to come on to him?

“It’s OK,” he replied and then worried that maybe she’d interpret that as he wanted more physical contact.

Not that the thought of more physical contact totally repulsed him…

She was scared to move in case she touched him again. And then, after about five minutes of lying stiff and motionless, she realised exactly how ridiculous she was being. She had known Angel for years. They were friends. They’d even lived together at one point. She was just over-reacting after what Dawn had said. What did a not-real fifteen-year-old know about her, anyway?

So, why was Angel over-reacting?

Well, which tactless Scooby member had he spent most of the night with?

“Angel?” she asked, propping herself up with one elbow and looking at him.

“Yeah?” he said, looking almost worried.

“Did, uh, Spike say anything to you tonight?”

He watched her grinning, and he couldn’t help break out into a smile himself. She was unbelievable.

“Yeah,” he admitted.

“Tried to convince you there was something going on between us?” she continued.

He nodded.

“Dawn had me worrying about that too,” she admitted. “I guess everyone in Sunnydale is doing the misreading of the friendship deal.”

He nodded again, while suddenly realising that she had the most amazing smile…

“So, we’re friends,” she continued. “Never mind what they say, right?”

He smiled and tried to sleep.

“Angel!!! Get the hell out of the bathroom! I need to use the shower!” Cordy yelled the following morning, pounding on the door.

“Yeah, well, so do I!” he responded.

“You’re a vampire! You can’t go outside for another nine hours, max! But I have to go see people.”

“What people?”

“Buffy! To see if she’s ready for the wedding!”

“The wedding isn’t until tonight,” he pointed out.

“Fine,” he sighed, deciding it was either agree with her or be yelled at.

He unlocked the door of the bathroom and walked out, a towel wrapped around his waist. “All yours,” he said.

He had a really great chest, she thought. Wait! No! She had just convinced herself that she didn’t have feelings for him.

But as she got into the shower she was seriously starting to doubt that.

It all made sense. Why she worried so much about him. Why she was so insistent that she didn’t have feelings for him.

She had a crush on Angel. Well, maybe a little more than a crush. Like maybe a lot more.

When she finished in the bathroom she quickly got dressed, feeling Angel’s eyes on her.

“Quit staring,” she snapped uncomfortably.

“Sorry,” he replied instantly and turned away.

“I’m going out now,” she informed him briskly, sweeping out of the room. She knew she had to get out of there. In light of her newly-realised feelings for Angel, it was way too awkward being in such close proximity.

She was pretty sure he didn’t reciprocate her feelings. And that was exactly why she was afraid of telling him. She didn’t need to cope with the trauma of being rejected. Not at the moment. If she’d stayed in that room, she could have very well blurted out something. The last thing she wanted was to destroy her friendship with him.

Sighing, she began to walk to Buffy’s house, a couple of blocks away.

Why had he been staring at her like this? The last thing he’d wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. Angel groaned inwardly. No wonder she’d left in such a rush.

He regretted having insisted on them sharing the room. He’d thought things would be fine. Instead, he was suddenly noticing exactly how attractive Cordy was.

No, that wasn’t it. He’d always known she was beautiful, he just hadn’t been attracted to her before. And it was more than that – he was realising exactly what an amazing person she was.

He hadn’t felt this way since…

Well, since Buffy had walked into his life, or he had walked into hers…whatever way you saw it.

He just hoped Cordelia didn’t plan on sending him to hell.

“You look happy,” Buffy muttered sarcastically when she saw Cordy. “Don’t tell me. You’re all depressed because you’ve fallen for a dark, brooding vampire who’s never going to make a good boyfriend because he’s too busy trying to save the world.”

“That was a joke, right?” Cordy asked wearily.

“Uh-huh…oh, no. No. You haven’t…”

Well, she hadn’t thought that Buffy would be the person to share her newfound revelation with, but… “Yeah,” she admitted.

Buffy’s expression was a mixture of sympathy and amusement. “You and Angel.”

“You and Spike,” Cordy countered.

“I see your point. Come on in.”

The wedding was just after sunset. An outdoor ceremony in the dark wasn’t exactly the romantic ideal, but Buffy and Spike looked almost deliriously happy as they walked down the aisle together. They’d been arguing up until the ceremony, but the actual wedding had a soothing effect on them, and as far as they were concerned, everything was perfect.

“Awww. They’re so sweet,” Tara said to Cordy.

She nodded, but just as Tara’s eyes were really focussed on Willow, the maid of honor, hers were concentrated on Spike’s best man. Angel.

“Oh, for God’s sake, tell him how you feel,” Tara smiled.

Cordy looked at her in shock. “My life is just an open book, isn’t it?”

“No, but you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve.”

“I’d better get it back where it belongs. There’s no way Angel could have feelings for me.”

“Are you sure?” Tara asked.

“Pretty much.”

“Because you could be just telling yourself that if you’re scared of getting close to him,” Tara said off-handedly, wondering if she had gone too far. She wasn’t used to talking like this to anyone, but from the way Angel had talked about Cordelia the previous night, she knew he had feelings for her. She was compelled to do something.

“You sure you’re not psychic?” Cordy grinned, and Tara smiled back.

“How thoughtful of them to hold the reception in the hotel we’re staying in,” Cordy smiled at Angel later that night.

“I’m pretty sure they had our best interests at heart,” he replied.

“They look so happy,” she commented, glancing over at Buffy and Spike dancing. Of course, they’d had another argument on the way here. Apparently marriage had done nothing to stop them bickering. It was done more or less with affection, but still…

“I’m glad she’s found someone.”

“You haven’t.”

“I know.”

“Why not?”

“There’s the little matter of the curse, remember?”

“You don’t need to sleep with someone. Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of a relationship,” she reminded him.

“And would that be fair to her, Cordy?” he demanded. “Is it fair to her that I can’t give her what she wants?”

“Maybe she doesn’t want it! You don’t know!” she argued.

He really needed to change the subject. “You know, Spike suggested that as well – a no-sex relationship.”

“See! Even Spike thinks so.”

“Spike also thought I had feelings for you.”

“Do you?” she asked boldly, and then gasped. “Oh God. I didn’t say that. Forget it. Please.”

He wasn’t going to. “Do you care?” he responded.

“No,” she shrugged and suddenly became very interested in the ground. She couldn’t look at him.

“Hey, guys!” Dawn greeted them. “What’s up?”

“Not a lot,” Angel said.

“Uh-huh, not much at all,” Cordy quickly agreed.

“Oh,” Dawn gave them both knowing looks. “I get it.” She left.

“I don’t want to know what she thinks she gets,” Angel groaned.

“We’re probably better off,” Cordy nodded.

He sighed. “OK, what’s going on?”

She hesitated before answering, wondering how she could explain that she’d spent a good deal of time thinking about what Tara had said. She didn’t want to believe she had a chance with Angel because she was scared. She was scared that she’d resent that stupid curse of his. She was scared he’d turn evil again and put her through emotional hell the way he had to Buffy. She was scared that he could never care about her the way he had about Buffy or Darla. And she was scared that it wouldn’t last and that he’d break her heart.

She also knew that she was crazy about him.

“I’ve been thinking,” she began cautiously. “About what Dawn and Spike were saying yesterday.”

“Oh,” he said, trying to be casual even though he couldn’t wait to hear what she had to say.

“Yeah. Maybe, I don’t know, this could be stupid, but, maybe they might have seen something, you know? Something that we didn’t?” she looked up at him hopefully.

“Maybe,” he nodded, not commenting further.

She rolled her eyes. “You know you’re putting me through emotional torment here. Anything else you’ve got to say?”

“Maybe,” he repeated.

She glared at him.

He leaned in to kiss her softly. “That answer your question?”

“Kinda,” she grinned. “I could do with a little more, though.”

“She’s never happy,” he sighed to himself. “What have I gotten myself into?”

She smiled. “You have no idea.”