"Connor told me there are two bedrooms on the third floor that would be
perfect for you and Spike. Lets go check them out." I follow her, happy to
see her smile. I missed it. All the time she was off at college, I missed
her smile and her laugh and her teenager's craziness. Well I guess everyone
has to grow up.
The rooms are perfect. I thank Dawn and Connor. It's amazing how some people
grow close really rapidly. They've known each other for only a few hours and
yet they can't seem to be able to walk away from each other. I talk a bit
with the Dawnster about her life in Illinois, about school. Then I leave to
go tell Spike I found the perfect place.
He is still in the kitchen, talking, civilly, with Angel. I never thought
I'd see that happen. I stop just behind the door, what they are saying
catching my attention.
"You love him." Angel states.
"What do you think Poof ?"
"I think you're in love with him."
"I'm as much in love with the whelp as you are with YOUR partner peaches."
"That means you're completely in love with him Spike. That you're so in love
with him you can even forget..." He stops.
"I know, peaches, I know."
"You need to tell him Will."
"Can't, Sire. Can't."
Wow, just by calling him Will, Angel got him subdued. I guess it's a vampire
thing. But... since when is Angel Spike's sire ? Isn't it suppose to be Dru
? And Spike LOVES me ? I think I'm dreaming the whole thing.
"S'why I left. Well, not the only reason, but part of it. When I'm around
him, I..."
"You melt and nothing matters more than his safety..."
"Yeah."
"It's the same thing for me Will. When I'm around Wes, I can forget
everything. Everything but him. And that's the problem, because my demon is
raging. He wants Wes' head as much as the soul wants his heart. This is
tearing me apart. I know I shouldn't forget so fast, but something else is
telling me that this is exactly how it's suppose to happen. Three years have
passed and I need to let go. Just as he needs to let go too. But Angelus
doesn't want to let go. The only thing I want is to take Wes in my arms and
kiss him, but the demon is too strong, it's holding me back."
"Well, I hope you get your answers Peaches."
"And I hope you realise that by telling him you might bring more light into
your darkness Will. I never really liked Xander, but he's a good guy. He has
shown that many times, and he likes you."
"He's as straight as an arrow Peaches. And I'm a man." Oh yes, you are !
"I don't think he's as straight as you think." Got that right, Deadboy. A
silence follows. Finally, I find my courage and I knock. I open the door and
find them sitting face to face.
"Er. Spike, I just want to tell you we're on the third floor. The two rooms
at the right of the stairs."
"All right pet. You need sleep. Get to bed."
I laugh. "Yes mom !"
He looks back at me and smiles. "M'not your mum luv, better remember that."
"Oh God no ! You really are not my mom ! This is a bad visual !" I take my
head in my hands and shake it. Angel smiles. I think it's the first time
I've seen him smile, and I smile back. I don't know why, but I don't feel
the urge to kill him anymore. It must be because of what I heard. He loves
Wes. He needs help to control Angelus and it's not by being angry at him and
insulting him that I'll help. If he thinks I don't hate him anymore, he
might feel better in control. Lets just hope...
I look at Spike and say "Thinking of you as my mom is really not what I want
right now. I'd better go to bed. You two enjoy your dinner and don't kill
each other."
"Sure pet. Good night." Suddenly shy, I smile and turn around. I think I've
fallen even more deeply for him now. He said he loved me, maybe not to me,
but I heard it, and that is the best thing that could ever happen... and
that's why I fell again. Before, there was no way he could love me as much
as I do him, but now that there might be a chance, I feel hopeful... Maybe
he'll take my hand again. Maybe he'll hold me, maybe he'll let me hold him,
take care of him... Oh God, I want to caress him everywhere, kiss him... I
want him. I've wanted him for a long time, but tonight there is a chance
that he wants me back and that is why I'm hoping again.
I stay near the closed kitchen door for a few moments. After a some time,
they begin to talk again.
"So Spike, is he straight you think ?"
"Maybe not Peaches... maybe not."
"I think he really likes you. I would even bet he loves you."
"..."
"William," Angel says using his Sire voice. "don't look at me like that. I
tell you. This boy is in love with you. Just the way he looked at you told
me."
"Maybe you're right Peaches... But what about you ?"
"Well... I don't think Wes..."
I let them talk. I don't think I need to hear more... Spike is in love with
me and he knows I'm in love with him
***
Chapter six : the dream
I climb the stairs back to the room I chose for myself and I climb into the
bed, not even bothering to take my clothes off. I close my eyes and begin
imagining him. Climbing the stairs two at once, opening the door of my room,
because he doesn't know which one is his, taking his clothes off... first
his shirt, mmm he has such a beautiful chest... then he sits on the edge of
the bed, takes his boots off, one by one. I want to touch his shoulder, to
kiss his neck, but I resist the urge. There is no reason to scare him. He
has scars on his back. I wonder who did that. Then he gets up and begin to
take his pants off, as if he was doing a strip show, slowly, sensually. He
doesn't wear any underwear. Mmmmm, he is so beautiful. I feel myself get
hard just by looking at him, all white skin, hard chest and perfect ass. I
wanna touch him, but I don't move. It's just my imagination. If I move he'll
disappear. So I don't. I stay on my stomach, not moving, trying to ease my
breathing. He looks at the bed and slowly lies down. His head inches away
from mine.
"You know, Nummy, you can stop staring at me like this." What ??? I try to
open my eyes, only to realise they were already open. It wasn't a dream. He
is here, completely naked, his hand on my back, gently stroking. Oh. My.
God. I blink. He is still there. I feel my cheeks turn red and turn around,
embarrassed.
"Now, luv. Don't be embarrassed. You liked the show didn't you ?" Oh God
yes. I turn back and look at him. His eyes are beautiful. So blue and
penetrating. I'm drowning. I'm drowning so fast I don't even realise it. His
nose is now touching mine and I'm sure he can feel my breath on him. And I'm
panting. I lick my lips and suddenly, I feel cold. My lips are surrounded by
ice, burning ice. This feels so good.
Wait a second. Spike is KISSING me ! And he is making me feel like a puddle
of goo. Then it stops. I moan.
"You all right luv ?"
"Oh. Yes. More." I'm reduced to monosyllabic speech. That's what he does to
me.
"Sure." Then, the coldness is back, but not only on my lips. He turns me on
my side and his hands are all over my chest, and I feel the urge to take my
shirt off, but I don't want to leave his lips. He breaks the kiss just long
enough to pull it over my head, then he's back. For a moment, I'm only aware
of the pleasure he brings me. The coldness of his hands and lips, that sends
shivers through my spine. I have goosebumps all over me from the sensation.
I never, ever felt this way with any girls, ever. It's a fire burning me
inside out. It starts from my lips and goes down right to my toes. I feel
more alive than I have ever been. So that's what love does to a guy.
Spike trails his hands down my stomach, then lower and lower. He gently
caresses my hips, before unbuttoning my pants and lowering them. He quirks
his eyebrow and looks at me. That's when I remember that I'm wearing my
black briefs. Very tight briefs. Shows everything kind of briefs. And I'm
painfully hard.
"What ?"
"Thought you were the boxers type, is all."
I laugh. "There are a lot of things you don't know about me."
"It's time I made up for it, isn't it ?" He says, bringing his face flush
with mine.
"Oh yeah." This time, I initiate the kiss. Passion. Lust. Love. It is all
there. For a moment, nothing exist but his lips. Cold on warm. It's all
there is to know. I'm lost in the sensation. I don't even realise it when he
takes my pants and briefs off.
"Cor, you're beautiful." His voice brings me back. He is panting. I take his
breath - even though he doesn't have any - away. "You're perfect." No one
ever told me that. No one ever told me I was beautiful and perfect. My heart
melts again. I watch him, kneeling between my legs, looking at me and I feel
a rush of lust come over me. I get on my knees and pull him in for a
bruising kiss. There is no turning back.
Our tongues tangle for a long time. Spike has his right hand in my hair and
his left one is on my ass, caressing it. Me, I'm stroking his back. Hard
muscles, tight ass. So beautiful, so perfect. He's like a Greek statue.
Marble.
I break the kiss. Breathing hard. "Don't forget to breathe luv."
"Mmm" I mumble, breathless. I can't get enough of his mouth. He gently licks
my neck, this feels so good. I guess necks are kind of a kink for vampires.
They can never get enough. His hands are all over me again. Slowly, he lays
me on my back and starts nibbling his way down my body, taking his time on
my nipples, then my navel... but he stops when he gets to my burning cock.
He gives it a lick, then resume his light kisses on my thighs. I moan. I
can't stop moaning. He makes me feel things I never knew I could feel. He
makes me burn.
I realise he's pushing my legs up, until I'm almost bent in two. Oh God.
He's going to touch THERE. It's the first time... the first time ANYONE has
touched me THERE. Then I'm lost again. His fingers are gently teasing my
entrance, drawing circles, then I feel his tongue, slowly licking and
kissing.
"Cor you're tight Nummy."
I push myself up on my elbows and look at him. I think I'm a bit scared.
I've never had sex with a man. I want this, but I don't know what to expect
or do.
He looks back at me. "You a virgin luv ?" He asks, concerned. I nod. I can't
speak.
"No need to be afraid." He says, sensuously draping his body over mine. He
kisses me tenderly. I never thought he could be so sweet. He's gentle and
caring and he tastes so good. I know I'll never have enough of this taste.
"Promise I won't hurt. We stop anytime you want luv." His voice is hoarse
with desire and I know he wants this. He wants me. He shifts and suddenly
our pelvises are touching. I moan. "Feels good, doesn't it ?"
What, he wants me to talk ? "Oh yeah." Sounds more like a moan than an
actual answer.
He rubs his groin on mine and for a few minutes, it's all we do. We thrust
against each, lost in the sensation again. But this time, he's as lost as I
am. I feel myself nearing climax and he stops. I groan.
"Don't want this to end too soon, do you ?" I shake my head. "Good." He
gently pokes my side. "Turn over luv" I do as he says and turn to lay on my
stomach.
His hands roam over my back. He's giving me massage. I feel the tension go
away. He has magical hands. I moan.
"Like that Nummy ?" I moan again. My voice isn't working anymore. All my
senses are too highly stimulated, it doesn't leave any energy for my mouth
to work. I can smell him all around me ; I feel him everywhere ; I can still
taste him in my mouth ; my eyes are filled with the image of him ; I hear
him, panting, moaning each time I do. I'm gone, completely. There is no way
I can go back. All this is making me painfully hard and my cock aches with
desire.
He gently strokes my ass and parts my cheeks. Slowly, reverently, he lays
light kisses on my entrance. One of his hands leaves me and he's looking for
something. Then it's back and I feel a slick finger carefully circling my
hole. Lube. Slowly, Spike works his finger into me. First one, then two
fingers. Three. This feels so good. He touches THAT place in me that sends
sparks flying in my brain that I never knew existed. I'm sure I'm going to
cum right here and now when he abruptly stops. "What ?" I groan frustrated.
"Shh pet. It gets better." He is panting hard. This is making him crazy with
desire, I feel it. He wants me as much as I want him. He turns me over again
and places pillows under the small of my back. He presses my legs back up
and I hold onto my knees. I'm breathless. This is what I've dreamed of for
so long. He is going to fill me. Completely. I'm going to be part of him,
just as much as he'll be a part of me.
He places his hands on my thighs, gently stroking them. Then I feel the head
of his cock at my entrance. "Oh. God."
"You ok luv ?"
"Yes, yes. Don't stop. Please." I lick my lips and stare in his deep blue
eyes. "I want you... in me. Now." Moving like a cat, he brings his face to
mine and kisses me, teasing my lower lip. That's when I feel it. He's
entering me. Slowly, inch by inch, he works his way inside me, until I feel
his pelvis against me. Then he stops, and I feel full. Complete. This is the
best sensation ever. And I'm sure he feels it too.
He starts moving now. His pace is slow at first, he wants to make sure I'm
ok, when he is, his thrusts gets faster and faster and we both move in
harmony, moaning each other's name loud, panting heavily. I'm lost, I can
feel nothing else but him. Inside me, over me, IN me.
"You're so tight, Xan, luv. Feel so good."
I feel my balls tighten. I'm near. He reaches between our tangled bodies and
begin to stroke my hard, painful member. And I explode, crying his name,
spending my semen on our bellies. When I come back from the edge, he's cum
too, my inside are soaked with his cold seed and he lays on my stomach,
panting.
***
Pause : the aftermath
Finally, he pulls out of me and lays beside me. For a few minutes, we stay
like this, side by side, panting. My eyes are wide open. I never thought it
could be THAT great. It was the best orgasm of my life. I turn on my side
and look at him. His eyes are closed and he looks incredibly happy. I did
this to him. Me, Xander Harris, made Spike, ex-quarter of the Scourge of
Europe, formerly known as William the Bloody, happy. This is unbelievable.
I'm the one who put that big wide grin on his face. I look at his chest and
can't resist the urge to place a kiss over his nonbeating heart. The place
where is heartbeat should be. He puts his arms around and holds me tight to
his chest.
"M'never letting you go luv. Ever."
"That will be hard when you'll leave to go back to Illinois with Dawn.
"Yes. Connor will be reason enough for her to stay... We talked a bit...
about her life there..."
"What did she say ?"
"She told me she has a roommate, a normal girl. Swathi... something."
"Ah... I love Swathi. Nice girl. She never seems to sleep though and she's a
bit crazy. Dances around the room for nothin' and watches crappy tv shows.
Doesn't even like Passions. But she's nice. A good friend for Dawn for
sure."
"As long as she's a friend of Dawn's then I love Swathi too." I put my head
on his chest and lick his nipple. "Not as much as I love you though." I yawn
and close my eyes. It's kinda weird to have my ear on somebody's chest and
not hear a heartbeat. But I like it.
"I love you too nummy." He whispers in my ear. That's all I need. I fall
asleep.
***
Chapter seven : the morning after
I wake up to find Spike staring at me. Smiling. I love his smile.
"Morning." I say, my voice hoarse with sleep. "Morning, luv. Had a good
sleep ?"
"Mmmm, very good. It's even better to wake up with you."
He takes me in his arms and hugs me tight. "Love you Nummy. I'll always be
there when you'll wake up."
"I love you too Spike. I love you so much my heart could burst. And right
now, it's the best morning I ever had." He seems a bit uncomfortable. I
guess, being an evil soulless vampire, that this kind of speech can make him
feel like this. But I do love him. Even if he doesn't have a soul. He
doesn't need one. He has me.
"Then, we'll make it even better." I look at him and realise he's up to
something. "Stay here, luv. It won't be long." He gets up and quickly pulls
his jeans on. Then he leaves the room. I wonder what he's up to.
He comes back a few minutes later, with a bottle. He throws it at me.
Chocolate sauce ! He wants... with chocolate sauce ! I gulp. I'm never gonna
get over this one ! I look back at him and realise he has already taken his
jeans off. God he's gorgeous. He looks at me and smiles. Leaning over me
like a cat, he lays butterfly kisses on my stomach. He reaches with his hand
and pinches my nipple. I'm breathless. Just a few light touches and kisses,
and I'm no more than jello.
"Mmm, luv. Taste so good." He looks into my eyes and smiles evilly. "It'll
be even better with chocolate" he whispers the last part, sensually, into my
ear. "don't you think ?" I sigh happily. This IS going to be the best
morning of my life ! "Oh yeah."
He pulls the covers off of me and licks his lips at the sigh. "Soddin'
beautiful you are Nummy." I'm sure my eyes are wide with lust. Then a
thought goes right through my mind. I get up on my knees and push Spike on
his back. He's going to get the 'chocolate treatment'.
He looks at me in shock and tries to speak, but I silence him with a kiss.
Passionate, searing kiss. When I pull away, his eyes are dark with lust. I
look into them, drawn by the dark blue colour. I've never seen anything like
this. I stare in wonder.
"You're beautiful Spike." I lean in and kiss him tenderly. It's the most
tender kiss of all. When I look back at him, I stare into his eyes again and
find a little of lust, but mostly a look of utter wonder and love. I can't
be mistaken now. It's written in his eyes.
"Love you Nummy... Now on with the fun, will you ? I'm dying from want
here." I laugh lightly and proceed to kiss him thoroughly. While I do, I my
hands roam over his chest. I'm mesmerized by all the muscles and hardness.
This feels so good. I take the chocolate sauce and start pouring it over his
belly.
"That is soddin' cold !"
"I recall it was YOUR idea, fangboy."
"Yeah, but was supposed to be you on the receiving end, luv, not me." I smile
at him and give him a quick kiss.
"You had your fun yesterday, now it's my turn !" He grabs my head in his
hands.
"So this is revenge luv ?" I nod and start rubbing the sauce all over him. I
lean over him and give a few tentative licks. This is wonderful. My two
favorite tastes combined into one. Spike and chocolate. Mmmm... This really
is the best morning ever. I lick him in all the best places. Learning his
every curve, the places that are the most sensitive - the nipples, the neck,
obviously, his heart - and now I know how to make him moan.
When all the chocolate has disappeared from his body, I can't wait anymore.
I put some more sauce on my fingers and I gently begin teasing his entrance.
Finally, when I've got him shivering underneath me, I push one finger
inside, then two... I slowly stretch him, just like he did for me.
"Oh. Bloody Hell. This is so good luv. More." I wonder if I can make him beg
? I push one more finger inside and I must have found his magic spot because
he's arching his back and moaning loudly.
"Oh yes ! Nummy ! More, please, more !" I did it ! I made him beg !
Finally I decide he's ready enough and I cover my own member with the sauce.
I place myself at his entrance and lay on top of him. Finally having enough
of my teasing, Spike thrusts hard against my cock, taking me deep in one
swift movement.
"Oh Spike... You're so cold, feel so good..." I moan, and it's almost too
much for me. But I don't want this to finish too soon, so I stop, reveling
in the feeling of him all around me.
"A bleeding furnace you are luv. Burning me inside. Want more !" He thrusts
against me and our pelvises meet. I moan. This is so good. I start
thrusting, faster and harder, following Spike's lead. Soon, too soon, I feel
my balls tighten and, in a mimic of Spike the preceding night, I reach for
his cook and stroke it hard. He cries his pleasure and cums between our
bodies, coating our bellies. And I follow him, mere moments later, cumming
inside him.
No able to hold myself up, I fall on him, our bodies still intertwined. Yup,
this is the best morning ever.
***
Chapter eight : the coming out
We lay there, completely silent for a long time, while I try to regain my
breath and my senses. He's gently stroking my back, up and down, stopping at
the edge of neck to play with my curls. This is the most relaxing thing
anyone ever did to me. It's time to get up now. The others will be waiting
for us. I slowly pull out of my lover and look at him. He smiles and gets
up. He reaches for me and pulls me up, holding me to his chest. I never
thought he could be that sweet. We move into the shower, both of us too
spent to think of doing anything else other than washing each other.
Finally, soothed, content and dressed, it's time for us to leave the room
and confront the rest of the gang. Spike takes my hand and we go downstairs.
When we arrive in the lobby, everyone is there. Cordy and Lorne are talking
in one corner, Buffy is holding Dawn, laughing lightly, while her sister is
whispering secrets in her ears. I wonder what they're telling each other ?
Gunn, Fred and Wesley are talking together over the desk and Angel, Connor
and Giles are having a fathers to son conversation, probably telling the
young man to take good care of Dawn. Willow is sitting in Oz's lap, just
like old times, but they are not talking. She's the first one to notice us.
"Hey, look who finally decided to join us !" Everyone turns towards us and
notices our big grins and our intertwined hands. Wesley's face lights up and
he smiles at me, pleased for me. I smile back at him. He comes to me and
hugs me. "Thanks Wes." He let me go and gently pokes my shoulder. 'No
problem.' I spot Angel over his shoulder and he is smiling his best 'I told
you so' smile.
"Xander and Spike ? Ewwww. That's disgusting. I really don't like the mental
image."
"Buffy. Please shut up !" I didn't say anything when Giles and her told us
they were together, why can't she do the same for me ?
She looks at me concerned. "You're sure he didn't drag you into this ?"
"Yes, I'm sure Buffy." I look into her eyes and I feel Spike behind me, his
hand on my lower back. "I'm in love with him. If you can't accept that, then
you'd better keep your mouth shut, because I won't stop loving him, and he
won't stop loving me because of what YOU think." She lowers her eyes.
"All right." She looks at the vampire. "If you ever, EVER hurt him in ANY
way, I'm staking you."
"Yeah yeah Slayer, you'll stake me good and proper. No need to worry, I'll
never hurt my Nummy." He buries his head into my neck and breathes me in.
"Smell so good luv." He whispers into my ears, my heart does a double flip
and heat burns my cheeks. I reach behind me and stroke his cheek.
"Can't you two get a room ?" Nice, now Cordy's joined the fun.
"No. We were preparing a very nice show. You're sure you don't wanna see it
?" I say jokingly. Everyone smiles.
"Now, now, keep the naughty fun in the bedroom please !" Angel's smiling.
"We're not a brothel here. No free sex shows are allowed !" Everyone burst
out laughing. It's so good to see we've all become friends once again. Sure
there are still many questions that haven't been answered, some of us still
have issues they need to settle, and there I specifically think about Angel
and mostly everybody and about Wesley and his ex-employees, but that will
take some time. At least, we're now able to laugh and smile and stay
together within the same room without wanting to kill each other off.
"What Peaches, you sure you don't want any fun ? You sure could use some."
Angel looks directly at Spike, serious.
"Will. This is none of your business."
"Oh, come on peaches, I know you like..."
"William ! Keep your mouth shut !" Everyone stares at Angel in shock.
"Sure Sire." Angel looks at the other vampire and looks ready to reply when
Buffy interrupts.
"Wait. Just WAIT a second there." Buffy shouts, confused.
"What slayer ?"
"Angel is your sire ?" She looks at him disbelievingly. He simply nods.
"Then why, please explain to me WHY you told me it was Drusilla ?" Angel
looks surprised then he bursts into laughter. Spike turns away from Buffy
and looks at Angel guiltily. The ensouled vampire tries to regain his
composure.
"God. This is hilarious. You... hahahaha... told them Drusilla made you ?
hahahaha." He finally stops laughing and wipes away a tear. This is the
first real laugh I've ever heard coming out of him. He really is different
than the Angel I remember. Maybe being a father can do that to a man.
"What peaches ? Wasn't gonna tell her you did it. It would've crushed my
image." I gently lay my hand on his shoulder. He turns towards me and
smiles.
"You were that much ashamed of me William ?" Angel asks, tenderly.
"Sure was, peac... Sire. Left us you did ! Never got over that. Bloody Hell,
how could I tell anyone my sire was a bloody vampire with a soul ? I was the
Big Bad you know." I'm sure I'm not the only who hears the 'was' part of
this statement. He finally got over it.
"I'm sorry." Deadboy comes over to us and hugs Spike tightly to his chest.
"I won't let you down again. I promise you that William." I look around and
realise everyone is staring at the two vampires, clearly shaken by the
little scene. I look at my lover and I feel a flow of emotions overwhelming
me. He is an evil vampire, but even being so, he still helps us, takes care
of us, loves us and protects us with his unlife. He will always have these
little schemes of his and he wouldn't really bother to do all this for any
other humans, just for us. He is loyal to the core. And I love him. All of
him.
Angel finally lets go of him and Spike looks even happier. Yesterday, at the
same moment, I was getting ready to face war, getting into the car with
Wesley, not sure of how we would be greeted here, and now, I'm standing
here, looking at the man I love making peace with his Sire, and I never,
EVER, thought this could happen. Still, it is happening. I look around at
everyone, gathered in their own partners arms, except for Cordy, Lorne and
Wes that is, and I know this is exactly how it's suppose to be. We were
meant to be together and we are.
"What about Riley ?" We all look at Buffy in shock. She broke the magic of
the moment.
"What ??? What about him ?" Giles asks, clearly surprised by his wife's
comment.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle any of you. It's just, I was thinking
about the prophecy and how everyone that came here had been part of the
Scoobies at one time or another, and I wondered about Riley... He isn't
mentioned ?"
Angel looks deep in thought for a moment, then snaps out of it and looks at
Wesley. He shakes his head...
"He doesn't seem to be Buffy..."
"I don't wanna be rude or anything Buffster, but he never really was a part
of our group. He was your boyfriend, but that's about it." I tell her,
trying not to make an argument out of this. She looks at me and nods.
"I... I never realised it, but I know. He never was a part of us... Well,
we'll keep him out of it. He's better off in Timbuktu with Sam, doing
whatever it is they're doing there." She looks at Angel. "By the way, what
is so funny about the thought of Drusilla being Spike's sire ?" Angel smiles
and looks like he's gonna burst in laughter again.
"When a childe is made, Buffy, the Sire needs to give a part of his strength
to the new born, and Drusilla being insane, a childe of hers would almost
certainly be too, because her strength is mostly centered in her insanity."
He looks at Spike. "And I never thought Spike was insane. Crazy, yes, insane
no."
"Hey ! Poof, m'not crazy !"
"Sure Spike. Tell yourself that." Oh My God. Angel is actually joking around
! Wow. By looking at the others, especially at Willow, Oz and Giles, I
realise I'm not the only one to be completely mesmerized by this. He never
did this when he was in Sunnydale.
"Angel ?"
"Yes Xander ?" He looks surprise to hear me call him by his name and not one
of the insults I usually use.
"Just wanna say it's great to hear you laugh and see you smile. You should
do it more often." Everyone agrees with me, nodding their heads, Connor more
vigorously than the others.
"Well, I'll try. Hell, I'm getting better and better at it !" He shows us a
big bright smile. Everybody bursts out laughing. This is so great ! There is
no more tension, except for a little between Wes and his old friends, but
it's quickly disappearing. If this keeps up, they'll all be best friends
again before the end of the day !
We all settle in the kitchen for a communal breakfast and I enjoy the light
conversation around me. I haven't felt this relaxed since... well since
Buffy came to Sunnydale. I am leaning in my lover's arms, eating pancakes
and waffles with the people that matter the most in my life, and there is no
bitterness, no anger, just friendship. Forgiveness will come in it's due
time. I know we'll all be patient.
Finally, we all get back in the lobby.
"Dad, yesterday, after calling her, you said that Faith was strongly drawn
here too, but not as much as the rest of them. Is she mentioned in the
prophecy ?" Connor brings us back to a serious matter. But even so, the
atmosphere is still light.
"I don't know Connor." Wesley gently taps on his shoulder and sit beside
him. He gestures for a few minutes and Angel concentrates.
I look at Spike, who still has is arms around me, and I smile lovingly. He
gently presses his lips to mine and I forget everything. For a moment, we
stay there, lips locked, not moving, just feeling each other. Eyes closed, I
put both hands on his cheeks and gently stroke. He has amazing cheekbones.
"Er... Guys ?? Spike ? Xander ?" We break the kiss suddenly and turn around.
Dawn and Connor are looking at us, still in each other's arms, grinning
madly. "Angel was saying that Faith is in the prophecy, but has a minor
role. She's referred to as the..." Connor seems to have a blank. He looks at
his father and Angel continues.
"The Wrecker." He makes a pause. "She won't actually break us, but she can
be our doom if we're not careful."
"Get it ! Don't trust the renegade slayer !" Angel shakes his head.
"Xander, it's not really a question of trust. You need to understand her." I
look at him disbelievingly. "I think we should trust her." He adds. Is he
crazy ? He just said...
"Are you crazy ?" Ahh, I'm not the only who's been thinking it ! Maybe he
is... "You just said she can bring our doom and you want to trust her !"
"Buffy, please, hear..."
Suddenly, a loud bang echoes through the lobby, we all turn around towards
Wesley and realise he made the noise with a hammer. He needed to get our
attention. Frantically, he gestures to Angel and me and I understand most
of it. This is exactly why she is the Wrecker. She'll always come between us
and we can't let that happen. Angel looks at Buffy and explains her what Wes
said. He held his hand out in truce and Buffy shakes it. They understand
each other now. Even if we all became friends once again, there are subjects
we should definitely not talk about. The Holtz fiasco for one, maybe
Angelus, and now Faith.
After that, we make small talk and finally all the girls decide to go
shopping. They all want to buy baby stuff ! Oz is going with them, he'll
drive. A few minutes after they leave, while we men were sitting in
comfortable silence, Angel's cell phone rang and Cordy told him she'd had a
vision and that Spike and him needed to go.
"I don't wanna go Nummy."
"I know Spike. But if the powers say you have to go, it's probably
important. Beside, it'll give you plenty of time to talk with your Sire. You
need to talk you know."
"Yeah. A big Sire/childe talk. Love you Xan." He bends his head and kisses
me lovingly. I'm never going to get tired of his lips. Finally, they both go
and that leaves Gunn, Wesley, Connor and me in the lobby. I look at Wes and
smiles. He smiles back and leaves for a walk around the neighbourhood. Gunn
follows him. They too have plenty of things to say to each other. Without an
interpreter, Gunn will have some problems understanding Wes, but I have no
doubt that they'll work it through.
"Xander, you wanna train a little ?" Why does everyone take me for a
punching bag ?
"Uhh, sure, why not. Just don't punch too hard." He laughs and I can't help
but laugh with him.
Actually, it's not that bad. He teaches me some tricks and makes sure I'm
not bruised. In the end, we are very sticky with sweat, but grinning. He is
a very good fighter and a good teacher. That's when I wonder why I never
bothered to really train with Buffy. But remembering the bruises, the
supernatural force and everything so slayer like, I know why !
"That was great Connor, we must do this again someday." I tell him while we
are taking are breath.
"Do what luv ?"
"Spike ! You're back !" I hurry to his side and try to kiss him, but he
shoves me away.
"You're all sticky luv. M'not kissing you like this."
"Hey ! I'll have you know you are sticky too, fangless ! Kill any nasties ?"
"No. Was a set up to get my Sire to talk to me."
"Or my Childe to talk to me. You can see it both ways Spike." Angel's
smiling at Spike genuinely. That talk must have been really productive. "So,
the two of you have bonded as well ?" Angel asks.
"Connor's great, he's taught me a lot of tricks. I'm sure I could hold my
side in a battle now."
"Not gonna happen Nummy."
"Why not ?"
"I'm taking care of you, aren't I ?" I lean in and kiss him before he can
react. I love him so much.
Connor looks at us and shakes his head. Yeah, we're hopeless ! We all go
back upstairs to our respective rooms. Spike and I take a wonderful shower
together, caressing and learning each other's body as much as we can. I
don't ask about his talk with his Sire, he'll tell me when he's ready, I
don't wanna push him to do anything he doesn't want to.
When we finally get back downstairs, everyone is back and the girls proceed
to show us all of what they bought. Oh my... we'll be here for a very long
time !
***
Chapter nine : the karaoke
(The songs used in this chapter are not mine, they belong to their
respective singers and composers ; Heaven's What I Feel, by Gloria Estefan,
featured in the movie Dance With Me ; I Want to Spend My Lifetime Loving
You, by Marc Anthony and Tina Arena, featured in the movie The Mask of Zorro
; Drowning, by the Backstreet Boys ; and For The First Time, by Kenny
Loggins, featured in the movie One Fine Day) and (I'm sorry for this
chapter, I was listening to a movie song CD and I couldn't help myself...
lol)
We all decide to stay another night in LA, knowing we need to bond more
still. Lorne comes up with this great idea and we all go to a karaoke bar he
knows of. He had decided not to try to reopen Caritas after the Holtz
fiasco, but he still loves the atmosphere of karaoke. We all agree to go but
before Lorne makes us promise to sing a song. One he'll pick for us. I can't
believe I'm even agreeing to this. I just hope he comes up with something
easy to sing, 'cause I don't have the best of voices.
When we get there, I know immediately why he brought us there. It's almost
empty, so no one will come between us. We can sing all we want with no one
listening. I think I'm going to love the green guy. The only thing is, he
wants Angel to sing ! I should have brought ear plugs !
The first one to have a go at it is Buffy and she's singing a Gloria Estefan
song, Heaven's What I Feel... I think I get it right... Lorne really is
perceptive, it's so symbolic of what she feels for Giles.
love sometimes
can be like destiny....
there's no way to say forever
may not realize your dreams
and love sometimes
is like the blowin' wind
it can take us to wherever
sending us sometime it wings
but I have broken
all the rules of love...
I never dreamed that
I could come this far....
and now I'm lost in my emotions
you're becoming my devotion
there's nothing I can do
to stop this love for you...
I was not supposed to fall in love with you
I have someone else....
someone else is loving you
and I was not supposed to
let this love get through
(let love get through)
so let me say for real....
heaven's what I feel
when I'm with you...
(this feeling is forever)
it is forever...
(you make me feel like heaven)
I feel like heaven
(my love is true when I'm with you...)
how could I have known that in your eyes
(in your eyes) I would find the deepest answer
to the questions of my heart
and how could I have known
that by your side
(by your side)
was the light to fill the darkness
and the shadows of my life
but I have broken all the rules of love
I never dreamed that I could come this far
and now I'm lost in my emotion
you're becoming my devotion
there's nothing I can do
to stop this love for you...
When she finishes, Giles has tears in his eyes. I watch them as they hug
each other closely, but not to tightly, because they don't wanna squeeze the
baby. They are beautiful together. I turn and look at Spike, who still has
his 'poofy grin' as Dawn called it. I lean against him and he hugs me tight.
Next, Gunn and Fred offers us a wonderful duet on the song from The Mask of
Zorro, I think the guy that is singing this is Marc Anthony, but I can't
seem to remember the girl's name... Her last name somehow reminded me of
hockey... but I can't remember why...
Moon so bright, night so fine
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming
Race the moon, catch the wind
Ride the night to the end
Seize the day, stand up for the light
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
Heroes rise, heroes fall
Rise again, win it all
In your heart, can't you feel the glory
Through our joy, through our pain
We can move worlds again
Take my hand, dance with me
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you
Though we know we will never come again
Where there is love, life begins
Over and over again
Save the night, save the day
Save the love, come what may
Love is worth everything we pay
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you
Looks like I'm next. I can't believe I'm actually going to sing. Before I
get up, Spike kisses me lovingly and brushes my cheek. I'm doing this for
him. For him only. I get up on the stage and look at the song Lorne chose
for me.
I can't believe this ! He wants me to sing a Backstreet Boys song ! Is he
crazy ? Those guys are so out of date ! (I can't believe I even thought
that... I sounded like Cordelia.)
"Sorry Lorne. Can't sing that."
"Oh yes sweet stuff, you can. Look at the lyrics." So I do. The more I read
and the more I think that I really don't care who sang that song first. It's
just exactly what I want to sing to my lover.
Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you got the power
To make me weak inside
And [boy] you leave me breathless
But it's okay
Cuz you are my survival
Now hear me say
I can't imagine a life
Without your love
Even forever don't seem like long enough
Cuz every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
Keep drowning in your love
And every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
I keep drowning in your love
Maybe I'm a drifter or maybe not
Cuz I am only safe here floating freely in your arms
I don't need another lifeline it's not for me
Cuz only you can save me oh can't you see
I can't imagine a life without your love
& even forever don't seem like long enough
Cuz every time I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
Keep drowning in your love
And every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
I keep drowning in your love
Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can't resist cuz you're the air that I breathe
Cuz every time I breathe
I take you in (Every time I breathe)
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it ( Baby I can't help it)
Keep drowning in your love
Every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
Keep drowning in your love
Baby I can't help it
Keep drowning in your love
Got me drowning
Baby I can't help it (Can't help it can't help it no no)
Cuz every time I breathe I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
Keep drowning in your love
And every time I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
Keep drowning in your love
All along I keep my eyes shut. Overwhelmed by the power of the lyrics. I
never felt this way before while listening to music. I finally open my eyes
to find everyone staring. Suddenly, I'm surrounded by the cold body of my
lover, who's kissing me like there is no tomorrow. I think I made quite an
impression !
"Love you Nummy. Love you so much it hurts !" I love you too Spike. He wants
to take me away right now. For another fun night full of chocolate sauce,
but Lorne and Cordy stand in our way and force us to stay and listen to
Angel. I call this TORTURE ! Lorne looks at us and I understand. Had he had
the choice, it would be Wesley singing, but there was no choice.
So Angel gets up on the stage, grumbling, and the music starts. I turn
around to look at Wesley, who's transfixed by the ensouled vampire. I
haven't had the time to talk to him since this yesterday, but I can tell
that he's finally letting go... and so is that awful singer on stage. He's
singing a song I think I heard in an movie... with George Clooney I think...
but I can't remember what the movie was.
Are those your eyes, is that your smile
I've been looking at you forever
But I never saw you before
Are these your hands holdin' mine
Now I wonder how I could've been so blind
For the first time, I am looking in your eyes
For the first time, I'm seein' who you are
I can't believe how much I see
When you're looking back at me
Now I understand why love is...
Love is... for the first time...
Can this be real, can this be true
Am I the person I was this morning
And are you the same you
It's all so strange how can it be
All along this love was right in front of me
For the first time, I am looking in your eyes
For the first time, I'm seein' who you are
I can't believe how much I see
When you're looking back at me
Now I understand why love is...
Love is... for the first time...
Such a long time ago
I had given up on findin' this emotion... ever again
But you live with me now
Yes I've found you some how
And I've never been so sure
And for the first time I am looking in your eyes
For the first time, I'm seeing who you are
Can't believe how much I see
When you're looking back at me
Now I understand why love is...
Love is... For the first time...
The look on Wes' face is worth the listening to Angel. He looks completely,
utterly happy. The love of his life, who happens to be someone who was his
worst enemy just yesterday, is in love with him. Sure, there will be many
obstacles to overcome, but at least they love each other. I realise then
that Angel hasn't taken his eyes away from Wes for the whole song. I don't
know how the others will react to their love. But I know I'm happy for my
friend.
Spike looks at me and smile. He understands too. Even after all that
happened between him and Angel, he stills loves the Poof and he wants him to
be as happy as possible.
"Let him screw brain man and get over it." He whispers in my ears and I
can't help but smile.
"Let's go now Spike. I have a lot of good things I wanna try tonight." He
grins at me, takes my hand and gets up.
"Pets, we have to go." Everyone agrees with us and soon we are all back to
our rooms.
Epilogue : forever
As I lay there in his arms, completely sated, I think about everything that
has happened in the last two days, and I know. This was meant to be. I get
that now. The way he makes me feel, the way his lips are like an extension
of mine, the way his body feels close to mine. He was meant to be my lover.
My partner. My everything. He is the warrior, I am his partner. He is the
Knight and I am the Heart. And this is forever. We'll fight together, 'til
the end of the world.
