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Letting The Bad In With The Good
By Coll

Teaser: An unstoppable force threatens humanity as new relationships blossom in the Angel Investigations team.
Genre: Angel: The Series, Romance/Suspense/Action
Pairing: Angel/Cordelia, Gunn/Fred, some Wes/Fred
Rating: PG-13
Notes: First Angel fic, let alone F/G! Be kind if you decide to tell me how you feel about my story!
Distribution: Sure, why not, just ask!
Spoilers: OK, up until Waiting in the Wings. Let’s just pretend that Groo never showed up in the end. Couplet and everything after hasn’t happened, at least in my world (not that it was bad, oh, I’m confusing myself!)
Special Thanks to: All the Forkers (Especially those @ the fanforum board! Love you guys!) and everyone @ FF.net for reviewing my fic!

-- 

Fred has never remembered ever feeling this way before. It had been a week since Angel had taken the whole gag to the ballet, a night that Fred knew she’d never forget. Since then, she and Gunn had decided to keep it simple between them. Despite what she felt, Fred was still a little shaky when it came to letting people get close. What was even better for Fred was that Gunn was giving her all the space she wanted. He knew that when she was ready, she would tell him.

 That’s what made it so hard for Fred to keep their relationship hidden. When Gunn was sensitive and caring about her feelings it was hard for Fred not shout to the world that they were together. They had an understanding, and they weren’t ashamed. Gunn and Fred didn’t want to ruin what they had, even though the rest of the gang did put two and two together.

 They kept quiet too, especially Wesley. He had hardly said more than two words to both Fred and Gunn. This bothered Fred. She wondered why Wesley was so quiet, and she was going to find out. Fred went over to knock on Wesley’s office door. He had come to the office that day, slightly nodded at Fred, and then closed himself in his office. She raised her fist when someone grabbed her from behind.

 Fred’s scream ripped through the Hyperion. Wesley’s door flew open, and he looked ready to attack Fred’s attacker, but then his face dropped. Fred looked at Wesley, then up to the person who grabbed her. “Sorry.” Gunn shrugged as he smiled down at Fred. She smiled, but then stopped when she noticed Wesley staring at her. “Some of us are trying to get work done, Charles,” Wesley said stiffly as he continued looking at Fred. “Perhaps keep the horseplay to a minimum.”

 With that, he closed himself back in his office. Something was definitely wrong with him. Fred turned and wrapped her arms around Gunn’s waist. He hugged her back, but his eyes were glued on Wesley’s door. Fred noticed this right away. “What’s the matter with Wesley, Charles?” After a minute, Gunn realized that Fred was talking to him. “I don’t have a clue, Fred.” He said in a very unconvincing tone.

 Fred dropped it for now. As selfish as it may sound, she was happy now and didn’t want anything to ruin it. Hadn’t she deserved happiness after what she had been through for the past five years of her life? “You wanna grab lunch later?” Gunn asked as he kissed the top of her head. Fred nodded and then settled into his embrace. This was too good to be true.

***

 Fred and Gunn walked back into Angel Investigations, hand in hand. They were smiling about things that went on during lunch (let’s just say not much eating was done) but their mode soon dropped. Cordelia was lying on one of the sofa’s with Angel and Wesley hovering over her. Lorne was off to the side with Connor fidgeting in his arms. “There you two are!” Lorne exclaimed looking up. Guun had dropped Fred’s hand as Lorne continued. “Cordy just had a vision, and if it did that to her, you know it’s bad.”

 “When did this happen?” Fred asked as she stepped forward and looked down at Cordelia, who was unconscious. Angel had stood up and looked over at Fred with worried eyes. “Only a little while ago,” he said with a crack in his voice. “It started off normal, she was giving us information then she started screaming. She fainted about a minute later.” Fred looked away from Angel. She should have been here to help with Cordy, not out having fun.

 Sensing how she was feeling Gunn placed a hand on Fred’s shoulder as he stared down at Cordelia. They all jumped back as Cordelia’s eye’s shot open and she gasped. “Cordy!” Angel yelled. Wesley moved aside a bit and Angel grabbed her gently by the arms. “What happened? What did you see?” Cordelia looked at Angel with wide eyes. A tear slid down her cheek as she grabbed Angel and threw her arms around him.

 “I’ve never felt anything like that before,” she whispered into his shoulder. When Cordy pulled back, she looked at all of them. “Whatever it is...it’s powerful. Really powerful.” Wesley bent down next to Cordelia too. “Yes, but what did you see?” Cordelia turned to him and answered. “Nothing. I just...I just felt.” Wesley exchanged a nervous glance with Angel. Fred could see that he was worried.

 Wesley then looked up at her. It was weird for Fred at first. Why was he staring at her? Then she just lost herself in Wesley’s eyes. She could see everything that he was feeling, because he felt so strongly about, well her. She knew now why Wesley was not talking to her, or Gunn. “We better hit the books.” Angel said as he patted Wesley on the shoulder.

 With a nod, Wesley stood and went over behind the desk. “I’ll help.” Gun said reluctantly after noticing that Angel wasn’t about to leave Cordelia’s side. Wesley looked up, like he was about to object, but then Fred looked at him with pleading eyes. “That’s good,” Wesley said silently. “We’ll need everyone’s help.” Gunn smiled, kissed Fred on the cheek, and walked over and grabbed a book.

 “Is there anything you can give us to go on, Cordelia?” Fred asked as she bent down with Angel. “You know, just a feeling is a little hard to find.” Cordelia shook her head. “I didn’t see anything. I’m sorry. The whole time, I just...” Cordelia began to sob. Fred grabbed one of her hands. “I’m sorry.” Fred whispered to Angel. Angel smiled and nodded.

 A few squeals from Connor got Angel up. “Sorry, boss,” Lorne said as Angel grabbed his son. “The little guy was being really good for a while.” “Don’t worry about it,” Angel said as he rubbed Connor’s back. “Maybe could you poke around your sources? See if anything powerful is coming?” Lorne nodded and headed out of the Hyperion.

 Angel looked from Connor to Cordelia. Fred noticed this and smiled. “I think I should take Connor,” she told him as she stood up. “Cordelia needs you to take care of her.” Angel opened his mouth to protest, but Fred took Connor and Angel, reluctantly, went over and took care of Cordelia.

 Fred was cooing at Connor when she felt eyes on her. Gunn had looked up from some dusty old book and saw her standing and bouncing Connor. He kind of flinched when she noticed he was staring. Fred thought it was kind of cute, but she couldn’t think about that stuff now. One: she wasn’t ready, at all. Two: there was a demon out there, a really powerful one that they had to find and destroy.

 If the vision of this thing hurt Cordelia, who was now like super girl, that much, what would it do to the rest of humanity? As if reading her thoughts, Wesley gasped and called Angel over immediately. Angel had to reread what Wesley had shown him. Fred knew that the look on his face was of disbelief. Her thoughts were confirmed when they all heard Angel say, “It can’t be.”

***

“No,” Angel said firmly. “This can not be it Wesley.” Wesley took off his glasses and rubbed his temples with his free hand. “I started tracking this months ago, even before Fred came and...Well, now with Cordelia’s immense vision, I just don’t see any other explanation.”

 “How about letting the rest of us in on this?” Gunn asked Wesley. Fred and Cordelia walked up to the counter and watched Wesley. He looked like he was about to pounce on Gunn, which made Fred a little nervous, but he told them his suspicion instead. “This force may very well be the end of humanity.” Wesley choked out.

 “Whoa, wait,” Cordelia started with a strength none of them thought she had. “The end of the world, again? How many times-” “No, no, no,” Wesley interrupted. “Not the end of the world. That will still exist. The end of humanity. Demons will be free to walk the planet without the plague of humanity.

 “This force, which I’m afraid to say there is very little written about it, will destroy humanity. It must be starting here, that’s why Cordelia had a vision.” Fred, Cordelia, and Gunn’s faces had fallen. Angel’s too, for Connor was human. He took this pause to reach over and take his son from Fred, who reached over across the front desk and grabbed Gunn’s hand.

 “Where do I find this thing?” Angel asked as he looked down at Connor. “That’s the sketchy part in my text.” Wesley replied grimly. “Sketchy?” Fred winced. “This force doesn’t physically exist,” Wesley elaborated. “It jumps from human to human, like a plague, it uses up their energy and jumps to the next one, repeating the process.”

 “How?” Wesley looked up at Angel’s inquiry. “How does it drain the human’s energy?” Angel specified. Wesley didn’t know the answer, and they all took his silence as an I don’t know. “It feeds on human energy by making them exert lots of it.”

 The group turned and saw Lorne standing in the Hyperion. He hadn’t been more than an hour. “How does it make humans exert all their energy?” Gunn asked. Lorne’s lips formed a straight, thin line before he answered. “It makes humans act on their most deepest desires. Stuff that they keep to themselves. Thoughts and actions that hey would never do if not under the influence of this force.”

 Angel sighed. “The word is spreading?” he asked. Lorne scoffed, “People found me to tell me this. I know that it’s started and a lot of things are scared. There are not a lot of demons that aren’t supporting this force.” The group was in shock. This was too big to be happening all of a sudden. “It’s bad, boss.” “How do I stop it?” Angel asked. Lorne half smiled and shook his sadly. “No one knows.”

 “OK, I’m going to try and track this thing. Lorne, Cordelia...is there anything that you can give me to go by?” Angel asked them desperately. Neither Cordelia nor Lorne wanted to tell him that there was no information on this. “OK, fine. Cordelia and Fred,” Angel addressed them. “Go to Cordy’s. Take Connor and stay there. I don’t want any chance of this thing getting any of you.”

 “Angel-” Cordelia started, but Angel put his hand to her lips. She smiled and accepted Connor. “Lorne, you and Gunn accompany them, then go and ask more questions.” Gunn hoped over the counter and pulled Fred to him. Wesley was watching this as Angel came up to him. “I need you to research more, find out what you can get from the text,” Angel told him. Wesley nodded as Angel followed Wesley’s gaze over to Fred and Gunn.

 “Are you sure about this? You could go with Cordy and-” “I’ll be all right, Angel. Thank you for your concern.” Wesley said as he patted Angel on the back. “I’ll call every hour and check back every two, just in case this force finds it’s way here.” Wesley nodded. “OK, let’s go everyone!” Angel shouted. He went over to Cordelia, pulled her and Connor aside. “Be careful.” He said quietly.

 Angel leaned over and kissed Connor on the Forehead. He then leaned in and kissed Cordelia softly on the lips. She was a little shocked at first before she kissed him back. Fred had gone over to Wesley. They stood facing each other for a while before Fred wrapped her arms around him. “Be careful.” She whispered.

 Wesley didn’t hug back. He glared at Gunn who was glaring right back. Fred pulled away and smiled at Wesley, who mustered up the strength to smile back at her. With that, they left Wesley behind. He opened a dusty book, put on his glasses, and got to work while thinking about Fred and hoping she would be fine.

***

 Fred wasn’t able to let go of Gunn when it was time for him and Lorne to leave. “I really have to go now.” Gunn laughed as she tightened her hold on him. She finally let go, but not before bringing his lips to her’s. She never wanted the kiss to end. The feel of his lips, the taste of his mouth was intoxicating to her and she could never get enough of it.

 Gunn pulled away and squeezed her hand before being drug off by Lorne. Fred shut the door and stood there a moment, wishing that Gunn would come back and hold her through this horrible time. “It’s tough, isn’t it?” Cordelia asked. Fred turned and saw Cordelia bouncing Connor on her knee. If Angel were sitting next to her, they would be a perfect family.

 “I feel so much when I’m with him,” Fred said as she walked over and sat next to Cordy. “It’s like those feelings you see on TV or in the movies. The feelings you think can’t possibly exist, but when they do, and when they happen to you, it’s even better than you could have imagined

 “Then it hurts when he’s not there, and you don’t know what’s going to happen.” Fred smiled to herself, trying to hold back the tears. She looked up at Cordelia through her teary vision to find that she had upset Cordelia. “It’s a shame that it takes a big thing like this to make you realize how you feel.” Cordelia told Fred. They sat there, thinking about what they had said. The feelings, they revealed. The thing that made Fred think the most, however, was that everything she had said about what she was feeling...it wasn’t just about Gunn.

 He was a really big part of it, sure, because Gunn...Charles meant a lot to Fred. Wesley was in her mind, though. She felt bad for him. He cared for her, probably feeling everything she was feeling for Gunn. When she was with Gunn, though, there was no doubt in her mind that she had made a bad decision.

***

Wesley had searched almost every book he had in his library. He could find nothing more than what Lorne had told them. Angel called four times, saying he had picked up a tip and asked if Wesley was OK there. The Hyperion was deserted. No one came in and Wesley assured Angel he didn’t have to check in.

 He stumbled upon what the force does, but he already knew that thanks to Lorne. Wesley cursed himself every time one of his books turned up no answer. He had seen signs of this coming months ago, he should have kept looking. Every now and again, he gave himself a break. A lot has happened that made him throw his notes aside: Angel’s child, promoting Angel Investigations, and Fred.

 Wesley was skimming a book that was written in Latin when he came across words he recognized: “End of humanity.” The rest he couldn’t make out very well. He took out another text and began to translate. He hadn’t even noticed that someone came in and walked right up to the front desk.

 “Hello, Wesley.” A female’s voice said. Wesley didn’t even have to look up to know who it was. “Angel is not here right now, Lilah.” Wesley answered without even looking up. After a minute, he did look at her. She wasn’t dressed in her normal lawyer attire, rather a skimpy little black dress with her hair swept up into a tight knot.

 “Do you know where he went?” Lilah asked seductively as she leaned on to the front desk. Wesley swallowed hard. “Not really.” He choked out. “OK, when’s he coming back?” Wesley shook his head and looked away from her. Why was she here? Surely Wolfram & Hart had heard of this force by now. Was she trying to team up with Angel?

 “Haven’t you noticed that there is something big going on here, Lilah?” Wesley said as he leaned closer to her. She smiled wildly. For a flash, Wesley thought a look of complete pain came over her face, but when he blinked she was still smiling. Lilah reached her hand across the desk and rested it on Wesley’s face. “Can’t you give me anything to go on? I need to see Angel. I have to find him.”

 There was something about the way she stressed the word need. Wesley reached up and grabbed her hand, trying to break any physical contact between them. He felt that something wasn’t right here. “I’m very sorry, Lilah, now if you’ll excuse me.” Wesley said as he went to let go of her hand. She tightened her grip. Wesley looked at her face. It was like the flash he saw before, but this time it wasn’t going away.

 Her grip kept getting tighter and tighter. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Lilah said as her face emanated a bright, white light. Wesley squinted and watched the light travel through her body. It reached her arm and headed toward the hand that was holding Wesley. He gasped and tried to break free, but it was too late. The light traveled into him. The pain was unbearable, and Wesley gave up and slumped down into his chair as Lilah let go and collapsed on the floor.

***

 The phone in the silent Hyperion began to ring. Lilah wasn’t going to get it. She lay on the ground, drained of all her energy. Wesley opened his eyes suddenly and rubbed his temples. As he pushed himself up, he winced a little. He walked over to the phone and picked it up. “Angel Investigations.” Wesley answered.

 “Wesley, Angel. How are things?” Angel asked frantically into the phone. “Quiet, nothing’s happened.” Wesley said with a brief look over to the desk. He smiled as Angel said, “Look, I got word that this has hit Wolfram & Hart, if anyone shows up...Well, just get the hell away from them. OK?”

 “Will do.” Wesley answered in a singsong voice. He hung the phone up, went over to Lilah’s body, and dragged her behind the front desk. He managed to shove her into one of his office closets. After that was done, Wesley walked over to the phone with a wild grin, like Lilah’s, on his face. He dialed a number and smiled as he waited for someone to pick up.

 “Cordelia!” he exclaimed.

***

 “Now? But Angel said-” Cordelia looked over at Fred with wide eyes. “OK Wesley. Look we can’t bring Connor so I’ll come and Fred will-” Fred looked up from Connor at Cordelia at the mention of her name. Cordelia’s expression on the phone was a puzzled one. “OK, yeah. Bye.”

 “What’s going on?” Fred asked. Cordelia shrugged. “I have no idea,” Cordelia said as she took Connor. “All I know is that you have to go. Wesley was really insistent about that.” Fred grabbed her coat and slipped it on. “OK then. I’ll come back as soon as I can,” Fred said as she grabbed Connor’s hand. “Are you OK?” Cordelia smiled. “Yeah, but if you can help...go.”

 Fred walked up to Cordelia and threw an arm around her. While being careful not to crush Connor, Fred hugged Cordelia. “Be careful.” Cordelia whispered as Fred pulled away. Fred smiled and left Cordelia’s apartment. She stood and watched the door for a while. For some reason, this wasn’t rubbing Cordelia the right way. She finally looked away when Connor began tugging her shirt.

***

 Fred walked up to the front door and opened it slowly. Peeking inside, she noticed that all the lights were off. The only light there in the Hyperion was the remaining light from the day coming in through the windows. It almost looked creepy to Fred. “Wesley?” she called out. When no one answered, she became even more afraid than she was before.

 She took a couple of steps down and walked over to the desk. Looking over it for any sign of anyone. Suddenly, a hand grabbed her shoulder. Fred let out a piercing scream. “Calm down Fred, it’s Wesley.” He said as she turned around. Fred was so overcome with relief she threw her arms around him. “Oh, Wesley. I thought something happened to you when I saw the hotel like this.” Wesley smiled as he rubbed her back.

 “I’m right here.” he assured her. Fred felt so much right for Wesley right now. It was a little scary, so she pulled away, but not completely away. “Fred.” Wesley whispered. She saw it in his eyes, all of his emotions. Everything he felt for her, she saw it. She soon felt it too as Wesley brushed his lips against her’s. Her mind was screaming at her to stop, pull away, but Fred couldn’t do that now.

 Wesley had deepened the kiss and Fred focused on feeling his tongue explore her mouth. Fred ran her fingers through his hair as his hands traveled up and down her back. Being in his embrace felt amazing, but not as good as it felt with Gunn. As Wesley continued to kiss her, Fred found that she was thinking only of Gunn. Wesley’s hand had traveled up to her shoulder. He managed to get his hand under her shirt.

 Time to put on the brakes, Fred thought. She backed away, but Wesley just grabbed her and pulled her back. She moaned into his mouth, trying to scream for help, but he wasn’t letting go. Fred was getting really scared when suddenly he was pulled off of her. Fred opened her eyes and noticed the room was slightly illuminated, but the light soon faded and Gunn was now standing in front of her.

 She looked past him and noticed Wesley sprawled on the ground. “Oh, Charles. I don’t know what...what happened.” Gunn nodded and pulled her to him. How was he so understanding? Then, she didn’t feel right. Pain was spreading across her and she couldn’t take it anymore. “Charles.” She whispered before collapsing in his arms.

***

Fred’s eyes opened. She was staring up at a blurry ceiling, and she wasn’t really too sure where she was. “Fred!” she heard someone call. It was a really familiar voice. “Charles?” Fred whispered. Soon, Gunn’s blurry face was close to her’s. “God, Fred...Are you OK?” Fred attempted to push herself up, but Gunn wasn’t letting her. “Take it slow.” He said. Her vision came back into focus and she sat up on the sofa.

 Gunn sat right next to her. She looked at him and smiled. Fred didn’t know what made her do it, but she hugged Gunn. It was probably relief that made her do it, but she didn’t care once Gunn wrapped his strong arms around body. It’s actually what she wanted, or what she thought she wanted.

 Fred was still shaky about what just happened with Wesley. Speaking of which... “Charles, how did you know to come here?” Gunn pulled back a little. “Me and Lorne got a tip. The force hit Wolfram & Hart. It got Lilah and we figured she’d head for Angel,” he explained as he played with her hair. “I told Lorne that I would check it out. Then I found...” Fred looked away from him. She couldn’t bear to see the hurt in his eyes.

 Despite how much she didn’t want to look at Gunn and his sad eyes, she lifted her head. “I’m sorry. I was so scared that he had been hurt, and then he wasn’t,” Fred said slowly. “I am so sorry. I tried to stop, but...I couldn’t pull away.” Tears began to slide down her cheek. Gunn hugged her again. “It’s OK. I’m not gonna let Wesley hurt you. OK?”

 Fred wanted to say how Wesley would never do that. How it was strange that he was that forceful, but she couldn’t. Physically, her body wasn’t letting her talk. “I’m so glad you saved me, Charles.” Well, she could talk, but that was not what Fred wanted to say, especially in that seductive tone that came out of her mouth.

 Fred pulled away, but she didn’t really want to. Then, she grabbed Gunn’s face with her hand and brought him closer to her. As his lips touched her’s, Fred realized she didn’t want to do this. Well, she really did want to do this, but it was something she never ever would do.

 A light bulb was suddenly lit in her head. She didn’t tell her body to grab Gunn and pull him closer. She didn’t want to kiss him now, but it was something she dreamed about doing. The force was controlling her. It was making her kiss Gunn, and he didn’t even know it. Oh, God, she thought wildly. When the force takes all of my energy, it’ll go to Gunn. She had to do something, get him away from her.

 Fred fought against her body, trying to push away from Gunn, but it didn’t work. She moaned into his mouth, but he took it as a sign to move their kiss a step up. He had moved himself closer and Fred’s body laid down, allowing Gunn to move himself on top of her. Fred tried with every fiber of her being to stop this but she found that her energy was being drained.

 She had to figure out how to warn Gunn before she had no more energy left to tell him. She tried not use too much energy thinking when the answer came to Fred, she wasn’t happy about it and didn’t accept it at first, but then she realized it was the only way. If Fred’s theory was correct, she would have to go through with her desire, and then the force should...Well she wasn’t sure what it would do, but it should do something.

 The way things were moving between her and Gunn, she knew what this force thought her desire was. Fred just wasn’t sure if she could go through with it without trying to fight. Fred wasn’t ready for that, and Gunn knew that. So why wasn’t he stopping? Fred knew that she was not ready to do this, but then she thought about Gunn ending up like her, and since Wesley was acting strange, he must have been under the force’s influence as well. Fred didn’t want her or Gunn ending up completely drained of their energy.

 She had no choice. If she didn’t try and stop this force, no one might be able to. Just as Fred decided to give up completely, Gunn pulled away. “Maybe we’re moving a little too fast, Fred.” He said. Fred looked into his eyes. There was so much concern there; she wished she could tell him how she felt now. “We may never have a chance again, Charles.” The force made her say.

 “Listen, I’m feeling so much right now, too. Being in this situation can do that to people,” Gunn started. “But, I know how you felt before. How scared you are and I can’t take advantage of you. You’ve been through too much tonight to make a decision this big.” If she could, Fred would have cried. Her exterior wasn’t giving up so easily.

 “Are you saying that you don’t want me?” Fred’s voice said. Her bottom lip quivered and her eyes began to tear. “Am I not good enough for you, Charles?” Gunn placed his fingers on her lips and shook his head. “You’re perfect.” He whispered. Fred grabbed his hand and they stared at each other for a little. Inside, Fred felt weaker since Gunn had pulled away.

 It’s because you’ve been thinking about how much you want to tell him things, she thought to herself. “Then show me how you feel.” Gunn reluctantly gave in. Even though Fred knew this wasn’t herself, Gunn’s kisses still felt amazing. It was almost kind of easy to let him...make love to her. As things kept progressing, Fred reminded herself that this was to save them all: Cordelia, Wesley, Connor, even Angel and Lorne. It was also to save Gunn, especially Charles.

***

Angel pressed his foot harder on the gas. He had just found out that Lilah had gone to the Hyperion. He called Cordelia’s to update them, only to find that Wesley had called and insisted that Fred come down immediately. “If anything happens to her...” he thought as he made a sharp turn onto the street. Angel killed the engine, stepped out of the car, and popped his trunk. After examining his weapons, he thought a stun gun might do the trick, in case Wesley was trying to do what Angel thought he was trying to do to Fred.

 Once he reached the door, he noticed all the lights were out. “Good.” He murmured. Angel could see much better in the dark. Angel pushed the door open a little and he heard soft moans. He fought the urge to run in there and decided to wait and see if he was right on thinking that Wesley was...he couldn’t even finish the thought. After a while he had deciphered that Fred was in there.

 Angel couldn’t wait any longer. He burst through the doors. The first thing he saw was Fred Sprawled out on the floor behind one of the couches. Angel ran over and gently lifted Fred’s head. “Fred?” he whispered. She looked pale and weak. Her energy had been drained, and Angel was too late. Then she moved in his arms. “Fred?”

 “Angel,” she said in a barely audible voice. He was about to ask what happened? Where was Wesley, but then he looked up. Wesley was a few feet away, looking very similar to Fred. “What happened?” he asked as he focused back on her. “Not...much time...energy...low,” Fred stuttered. “Take your time.” He whispered.

 “Wesley had it...he tried to...with me,” Fred took a moment to inhale a shaky breath before continuing. “Gunn came...but I had it...and my desire...oh, God, Angel...I stopped...fighting it...it left me...went to Charles...I thought I could...stop it by...giving in.”
“But you didn’t?” Angel asked eagerly. Fred nodded. “He’s still...” Fred was getting worse as she continued. “He’s here...and I don’t...don’t know...what he...wants.”

 “Don’t you worry about that, OK?” Angel said as he pushed some of the hair out of her face. “I’ll stop this, and that’ll get you your energy back.” Fred forced her trademark smile on her face and Angel smiled back. “You...don’t know...that.” “Of course I do,” Angel lied. “Now, I’m gonna lay you down, and you’re going to take it easy. Conserve your energy.”

 Angel gently lifted her on to the couch. “It’s going to be OK.” Fred tried smiling again, but it faded. Fred’s eyes looked wide and frightful suddenly. Angel glanced over his shoulder. He wasn’t alone. Gunn emerged from the shadows. He was pulling his shirt on over his sweaty body. Angel looked at Fred and, as he looked back at Gunn, his face was vamped out.

 “What did you do to her?” Angel snarled as he stood up. Gunn smiled. “She was practically begging for it,” He said. “Didn’t seem like I was the first one there though, like I thought.” Angel snapped. He was on top of Gunn in a flash. Gunn let Angel get a few punches in, the he laughed and pushed Angel off with a force Angel knew wasn’t human. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to start something with me?”

 Angel’s face had returned to normal. He went up and stood in front of Fred. “It’s all your fault you know,” Gunn said as he slowly advanced on Angel. “My sister, my gang turning on me, what happened to Fred and what’s going to happen to everyone else, everything.”

 “Is this your deepest desire, Gunn? Is this how you really feel about me deep down?” Angel asked him calmly. Gunn pulled an axe out from behind him. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” Angel took out his stun gun and shot it. The dart hit Gunn in the neck and he crumpled to the floor.

 Angel pocketed the gun and looked back at Fred. “You OK?” he asked as he bent down next to her. She nodded. “OK, we’re going to Cordy’s.” Angel scooped Fred into his arms easily. “But...Charles...” Angel stopped Fred by saying, “Trust me, when he comes to, he’ll find us.”

 After placing Fred into his car, Angel went back in to get Wesley. Then they were off to Cordelia’s. “Angel!” Cordelia exclaimed. She then gasped at the sight of Fred. “Fred!” she exclaimed. Angel pushed past and placed Fred on the couch. “I’ll be back up in a second. Wesley is down there.”

 “What happened with Wesley?” Cordelia asked suddenly. Angel didn’t answer. That dart wasn’t going to hold Gunn for long, especially if he was possessed by something this powerful. Moments later, Angel was up with Wesley. “Angel, tell me.” Cordelia pleaded. Angel put Wes in Cordy’s bedroom before kneeling with Fred and telling them what happened.

 “From what I can tell, Lilah came to see me. She gave the force to Wesley. That’s when he must have called you.” Angel said. He looked up at Cordelia who was near tears. “I should have known. I’m so sorry, Fred.” Fred smiled at Cordelia, but only for a moment. She was still fading with every minute that went by.

 “Wesley acted on his feelings. Fred told me that Gunn saved her, but she had gotten the force.” Cordelia looked confused. “How is she still...awake?” she asked. “She didn’t use her energy trying to fight what the force was making her do. When...when it was done, the force must have left her.”

 “Oh, no...Gunn.” Cordelia said as she covered her mouth. There was a knock on the door. Angel jumped. “Stay with Fred.” He said calmly as he took out the stun gun. He had it aimed and ready when he opened the door. A scream sounded through the halls and Angel dropped his gun. “Lorne, where have you been?”

 Lorne smiled, “Figuring it out.” He held up a few books and smiled. “Wesley was busy before being possessed. He was really close.” Lorne informed Angel as he stepped into Cordelia’s apartment. “Can you figure the rest out?” “With time, boss.” Lorne said as he stepped into the living room where Cordelia was kneeled next to Fred’s fading form. “As fast as possible.” Angel whispered as he came up behind Lorne. Lorne left for a quieter place to work.

 “What are we going to do, Angel?” Cordelia asked in a helpless tone. Angel didn’t know what to tell her, so he pulled Cordelia to him and held her. Fred’s eyes had closed, but she was breathing. “We’re going to get through this,” Angel assured Cordy. “And Wes, Fred, and Gunn are going to be fine.”

 Just as soon as the words left his mouth, Cordelia’s door flew open. Gunn walked in, dragging a duffle bag behind him and carrying a crossbow. He dropped the bag and stood on the fallen door. His face broke out into a deadly smile.

***

Angel stood and pushed Cordelia behind him. “Angel, why did you do that to me?” Gunn said as he stayed where he was. “That just gives me another reason as to why I should help humanity by killing you.” Cordelia was breathing heavily behind him. “Get in the bedroom, away from Gunn.” He whispered, but Gunn heard.

 “I’m not here for Cordelia. I want to help her too,” Gunn began to advance and Cordelia ran into the bedroom and slammed the door shut. “I’ll help her by getting rid of you. Then she can have a normal life, like one before you ruined it for her.” Angel was trying very hard to fight the urge to rip Gunn’s throat out. He knew that it was the force talking, but it was still aggravating.

 Every now and again, he peeked at Fred and reminded himself how she would feel if he killed Gunn. Angel wasn’t going to hurt her like that. “You don’t know enough to say things like that Gunn.” Angel said through gritted teeth. Gunn noticed Angel’s gaze keep going to Fred. “Are you going to try and get Fred, too? Isn’t Cordelia enough, Angel?”

 Gunn raised the crossbow. “Fred’s mine.” He said as he pulled the trigger. Just as the arrow was about to hit, a hand grabbed it. “Lorne?” Angel said. “Whoa, looks like we got a new player,” Lorne commented after a quick look at Gunn, who was reloading the crossbow. “Look, that text of Wes’ says how to stop this thing, but it needs to be interpreted.”

 “Just tell me.” Angel said as he pulled Lorne out of the way of an arrow heading straight for them. “OK, the force stops if it enters a human with no desire at all.” Angel looked at Lorne. “That should be easy to find.” Angel said sarcastically. Lorne looked back with a knowing look. “Easier than you think.” Lorne said as he looked across the room. Angel followed his gaze.

 Connor’s crib was right next to the bedroom, right where Lorne was looking. “No way.” Angel said firmly. Lorne tackled angel to the ground as more weapons were being thrown their way. “Think about it, boss. A baby has no desire, because it hasn’t lived yet.” Angel kept shaking his head. “It’s the only way.” Lorne told Angel.

 “Won’t it jump out though?” Angel asked, trying to find another way around it. “Only if there’s another human close, and we’re not human.” Lorne reminded Angel. “Cordy is.” Lorne shrugged. “Gunn’s gotta be almost out of energy...Cordelia can be right after him and we’ll just have to wear her out.”

 “This doesn’t feel right, Lorne. Besides, Cordy’s part demon now.” Angel said. “Part, being the operative word. Besides, everything fits together,” Lorne explained. “Wes said he was reading this before Fred came. Then, as all this happens, you have a son. This is Connor’s purpose. The prophecy.”

 “What if it kills my son?” Angel asked. “I can’t let that happen.” Lorne shook his head and rubbed his forehead. Angel knew he was making Lorne angry, but this was his son. “Connor will die anyway if this force keeps going. So will Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Cordelia, your friends back at Sunnydale, and all of humanity.” Angel looked at Lorne for a while. Gunn had managed to get a few good shots in, but nothing fatal.

 “Get Cordelia out here.” Angel reluctantly said. Lorne ran to the bedroom as Gunn pulled an axe out of the duffel bag and advanced. Angel easily stopped it and brought Gunn down to the floor. Angel pinned him and watched as Gunn fought against him. “That’s right,” Angel taunted. “Use up that energy.”

 Gunn’s face was contorted in pain as Lorne brought Cordelia out. “Angel, stop!” “Cordy, listen. You’ve got to be the next one the force takes,” Angel said as Cordelia’s face showed her fear. “I know it’s scary, but it’s the only way. Just try and use up your energy as much as you can.”

 “I don’t understand...” Cordelia said quietly. Gunn was fading under Angel’s grasp. “Do you trust me Cordelia?” Angel asked her. She slowly nodded. “This is the only way.” Cordelia slowly bent down next to Gunn. “No...I won’t...” It was the real Gunn talking. Cordelia grabbed his hand anyway, knowing that Gunn didn’t have enough strength to get away.

 Soon, a bright light filled her apartment, and both Gunn and Cordelia laid on the floor, unconscious. “That’s the sign of a transfer.” Lorne informed Angel. They waited a few minutes, waiting for Cordelia to wake up. Her eyes flew open and she gasped at the sight of Lorne, then she looked over at Angel and screamed.

 “Get away!” She said as she scurried back. She hit the wall and curled herself up into a ball. “I can’t take it...” she whispered. “Pain, everywhere.” Cordleia looked from Fred to Gunn, back and for the, over and over again. “Look what you did to them...Gunn and...Fred! Poor, poor Fred. What did she do to you?

“Can’t take it...too much pain, hurt, suffering...I want to be normal.” Cordelia looked up at Angel with wide eyes. “Normal!” she creamed at him.

 “Her secret desire.” Angel whispered. Lorne patted him on the back. “That’s why they’re secret,” he told Angel thoughtfully. “We’ll just let her get through this. As long as she stays here...” Lorne stopped. He could see Angel was upset. “She shouldn’t have to suffer like this,” Angel said as he looked around Cordy’s apartment. At Gunn, Fred, thinking of Wesley in the bedroom, and Connor. “None of them should.”

 “That’s life, boss,” Lorne said as he kept an eye on Cordelia. “You gotta let the bad in with the good.” Angel leaned against a nearby wall and slumped down to the ground. “Could you just, stay with Connor? I’ll tell you when it’s time.” Angel said. Lorne noticed that his voice was cracking a little. He didn’t answer, he did it with no questions asked.

 Angel sat on the ground, watching Cordelia shiver and look around herself protectively. Not once, not even for a second, did she look at Angel. He would have rather burned in hell for the rest of eternity rather than put Cordelia, and the rest of his closet friends, through this.

***

An hour had passed since the force took Cordy. Angel tried to use up some of her energy by getting closer to her, or trying to make her leave and having himself stop her, but she was still going. Lorne had come out a few times, seeing if he could help or seeing if Angel wanted a break, but he wouldn’t move. He couldn’t.

 Angel had figured that the force wouldn’t have taken this long to use Cordelia’s human energy, but it was. Every second that went by was killing him slowly, and then he had to risk his son’s life. According to Lorne’s translation, Connor would be just fine...but Angel couldn’t stand the idea of putting his son in the middle of all this at such a young age.

 Angel decided to give himself a break. He looked away from Cordy, of course the first thing he saw was Gunn’s energy drained form slumped up against the couch. Lorne had drug him over after Fred woke up and used her last remaining energy to ask for Gunn to be close to her. Angel envied them. They didn’t have to worry about loving each other, but Angel did.

 Fred had also grabbed Gunn’s hand. She lost her energy trying to ace their fingers together, and she did it just in time. It was when he looked over at them, and when he thought of Wesley and Cordy, did he know that he had to let the force take Connor.

 “What are you doing to me?” Cordelia suddenly shouted. She was now standing in the corner she had backed herself into. Angel rose to his feet, ready to catch her if she decided to run. She put her hand up in defense. “Don’t get close to me, you’re the one doing this to me,” Cordy said quietly. “Why are you hurting me?”

 “What am I doing to you?” Angel asked her, figuring that she was close to losing all of her energy. “I didn’t feel this weak before...this cold, so cold...” “Lorne!” Angel called. “Bring Connor, it’s happening.” Lorne was there in a flash, cradling the infant. Angel walked up to Cordelia. She fell to the floor, kicking her legs, trying to keep Angel from touching her.

 Dodging the kicks, Angel wrapped his arms around Cordelia and whispered in her ear, “It’s OK. It’s almost over. Let it take you.” Cordelia’s fighting lessened and lessened. “I’m so sorry, Cordy.” He whispered. Cordelia looked up at him. “Angel...I...I love...” Cordelia said weakly. Her last words trailed off and she was drained. Angel laid her down gently and stood back.

 “How are we supposed to know when-” Angel’s question was cut off and answered when the bright light filled the room. Instead of disappearing, however, it remained. Angel looked through his squinted eyes and saw that the light was shaped like a person. It’s head was looking all over the room for a human. It stopped when it saw Connor.

 “Put Connor Down and step back!” Angel shouted. There was a sudden gust of wind as Lorne placed Connor on the floor and backed away from him. Angel joined Lorne in a corner as they watched the force go into Connor. The light disappeared, and Connor sat there awake and well, like nothing had happened.

 Angel was just about to ask what should they do now when a light filled the room and Lorne and himself were thrown backward. Angel tried to get up, but found he couldn’t. In fact, his vision was blurring. He then gave up and passed out.

***

 Angel felt like a bus had hit him when he started to come to. It took him a while to sit up and when he did, he wasn’t where he originally passed out. He knew where he was though, on Cordelia’s bed. The door suddenly opened and Angel gasped, but he soon clamed down when Fred stepped in looking alive and full of energy.
 
 “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Fred said as she walked over and sat next to him. She smiled and he smiled back. “I’m so glad you’re OK,” he said honestly before a thought popped into his head. “Connor-” “Is in the other room with Cordelia,” Fred answered. “Everyone’s fine. The force is gone.”

 “What happened? How long have I been out?” Angel said as a million other questions clouded his mind. “You and Lorne figured it out, but when Connor destroyed the force, it exploded and covered the world, giving any energy that it took back.

 “Wesley says that it hurts demons. Well, that’s not exactly how he said it, but that’s how we say it.” Angel nodded as he rubbed his head. “It had quite a punch,” he laughed. “Do you remember...?” “What it made us do?” Fred finished again. Angel nodded and so did Fred. He exhaled and put his hand over her’s.

 “I’m sorry.” “You have nothing to be sorry for...there’s people that need to apologize to you.” Fred reminded him. Angel didn’t need reminding though. Gunn had tried to kill him and Cordy was terrified of him. “You’ve been out for a few days now,” Fred said as she brought him out of his thoughts. “It’s been quiet.”

 “None of you talked about it?” Angel asked with raised eyebrows. Fred half smiled. “I don’t think any of us want to admit to how we acted. We did stuff that changed us forever.” “I know what that’s like.” Angel replied softly. Fred hung her head and they sat there for a while.

 “Do you want anything? Blood? I can get some...” “I’m fine Fred. Really,” Angel said with a smile. “You can do something for me though.” Fred watched him, waiting to do whatever he wanted her to do. “Talk to Gunn, and Wesley. Don’t let this consume you.” Angel advised her. He saw understanding in her eyes.

 Fred looked to the door, then back at Angel. “Go on, I’ll be fine.” Fred bent down, kissed him on the forehead, then left. Angel laid back down and was about to settle into sleep when the door opened again. “Fred, really, I’m OK.” Angel said as he began to sit back up. He froze thought when he saw Cordlia standing there.

***

 Fred gently closed the door behind her. Angel’s words were echoing in her head. She had to talk to Gunn, explain how she was feeling, and hopefully save what relationship they have left. Gunn had only touched her once. When the force was destroyed, they woke up and found they were holding hands.

 Gunn had pulled her up and held her close to him. Fred wanted that so badly to happen again. She walked slowly into the kitchen where Cordelia and Gunn sat silently. Lorne had woken up only a little while before Wesley, who insisted on bringing Lorne back to the Hyperion. Fred got the feeling he didn’t want to be near her, which was understandable.

 He had lost control again, and tried to hurt her again, but Fred knew that, no matter how much he cared for her, he would never force himself upon her. The thought of that made her think of Gunn. He now knew that she was under the force’s influence when they...Fred stopped thinking about that. It hurt too much.

 It was Cordelia who looked up when Fred came in. “How is he?” she asked eagerly. Fred smiled. “Awake.” He replied weakly. Cordelia was up on her feet and running for the room in no time. Fred watched Gunn for a while. He wasn’t looking up at her on purpose, but Angel was right. This was going to kill them if they kept it inside. “Charles,” Fred said. He looked up. “We have to talk.”

***

 “Cordelia.” Angel said weakly. It wasn’t the best opener, but it was all he was thinking about. Tears made her eyes shimmer and she practically ran over and threw her arms around him. “I’m so sorry.” She cried. Her whole body was shaking with her sobs as Angel slowly wrapped his arms around her. This wasn’t what he expected at all.

 Angel was expecting awkwardness and him having to force Cordelia to talk about what happened. “It’s OK. I’m fine.” He replied, deciding it safer to assume that she was worried about him waking up. She pulled back slightly and she knew he wasn’t buying it. “You know what I mean.” She said to him.

 He nodded slowly. “I am so sorry. I can’t even say that enough.” Cordelia said as she grabbed his hand and held it near her heart. “You don’t have to-” “Don’t pretend that this doesn’t bother you, Angel,” Cordelia interrupted him. “The things I said and did...I know that I’m disgusted with myself.”

 “You can’t help it if that’s the way you feel.” Angel replied to her as he pulled his hand away. “Don’t push me away Angel, please,” Cordelia pleaded. “I may sometimes wish that my life was normal, but I know that it wouldn’t be as good as it is now.”

 “Good?” Angel scoffed. “This is what you consider good? You nearly died.” Cordelia looked taken back, but Angel could see she wasn’t giving up so easily. “Yeah, but you saved me. That’s the reason why it’s good Angel.” “What are you talking about?” he asked. Cordelia exhaled. She got up and began pacing. “You, stupid! You’re why it’s good. I never thought you could mean this much to me, but after all we’ve been through you do!”

 He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He also couldn’t believe what he was going to say. “I can’t mean that much to you, just like you can’t mean that much to me.” “Why did you kiss me then?” Cordelia asked. Angel put his face in his hands, trying to make this moment go away so it would be over.

 “I don’t know.” He replied weakly. “Don’t give me that crap,” Cordelia screamed. “If you hadn’t kissed me Angel, I would have kissed you.” Angel wasn’t here. He wasn’t experiencing something he had thought about for a while now. Then it hit him, the words he had said to Fred. He had to stop this. Stop burying his feelings until they consumed him. Angel was beating around the bush, trying his hardest not to say what he wanted to say to Cordelia.

 “Listen, this isn’t about the kiss for me. That’s not why I’m pushing you away.” He confessed. Cordy furrowed her brow and asked, “Why then?” “You were terrified of me when you were under the influence of the force. I don’t know if I can be around you when I know that’s how you feel deep down.”

 “OK, you saw like how I felt times a million, Angel. I already told you that I sometimes wish I had a normal life.” Cordelia replied. Angel wasn’t convinced, and Cordelia saw this. “Don’t you understand that I had the chance for a normal life and I gave it all up? I gave it up for you.”

 “I don’t deserve it.” Angel told her after a beat. “You deserve so much more than you let yourself think you do.” Cordelia said as she sat next to him on the bed. “I was just going to tell you that.” Angel said back. “Can’t we just put this past us? I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, Angel.”

 Angel pulled her closer to him and they held each other. It was his way of saying that they could move on from this. That’s how they remained for the rest of the day, sitting there, holding each other, and worrying about nothing else but being right where they are.

***

 “About what?” Gunn asked Fred as she sat across from him. There was only a table separating them, but to Fred it felt like an ocean. “About everything that’s happened, Charles,” she replied. “We can’t keep our feelings buried.” Gunn wasn’t looking at her anymore. It was very clear to Fred that he didn’t want to talk at all.

 “Are-are you mad at me? Is that why you can’t even look at me?” Fred asked him as he looked back up at her. “Or, is it because you think I’m some kind of...I don’t know...some slut or some-” “Hey, no! Calm down, OK?” Gunn interrupted. Fred took in a breath and waited for him to continue.

 Exhaling heavily, he continued. “I don’t think that about you. You are anything but a slut, understand that.” “Then what is it? Why won’t you touch me?” Fred asked him. It took Gunn a while to reply. Fred wondered what he was thinking now, and suddenly wishing she could read people as well as Cordelia can now.

 “I’m afraid.” Gunn finally responded. “Of what?” Fred asked eagerly. He looked away again. “What happened back at the Hyperion, what we did, I should have known better, and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to use my judgment when it comes to you. I should have stopped, Fred. I should have known better.”

 “What we did was not your fault. If anything it was-” “Do not take the blame for this,” Gunn told her. “I couldn’t control myself.” Fred didn’t know why, but she was getting angry, angry that he couldn’t see that this was being blown way out of proportion. “Neither could I, Charles. We’re human, we make mistakes...some are just bigger than others, but we’re supposed to make them.

 “And because of this mistake, you don’t want to be near me. Look at you, you can’t even look at me.” Gunn looked up at her. Fred could tell he was fighting the urge to look away. “All I know is that I miss you.” Fred told him. Gunn remained quiet for a while before saying, “I miss you too.”

 They both practically jumped and ran to each other. They embraced and held on to each other as if they haven’t seen each other in months. “We’re OK then?” Fred asked as she tightened her hold on him. Gunn pulled away and kissed her. Fred had thought that she would never experience this again. She thought that she would forget how it felt to have Gunn kiss her, and now all thoughts left her head.

 Fred wasn’t too sure how long they kissed, but it must have been a while. Connor cries finally broke them apart. Gunn wasn’t happy about that, but Fred figured Angel and Cordelia needed time to themselves. “So de we.” Gunn teased her as she lifted Connor out of the play pin. She rubbed his back gently and within minutes, he stopped crying.

 “Can we put him back now?” Gunn asked eagerly. It only caused Fred to erupt in a fit of giggles. Gunn took Connor until Fred stopped laughing. Gunn put Connor back and grabbed Fred by the waist. She managed to get away and run into the living room. Gunn gently tackled her to the couch, where they soon settled in together. Fred had rested her head against Gunn’s chest, listening to his heartbeat and falling asleep to the rhythm of his breathing.

 Gunn absently played with Fred’s hair before sleep took him as well. They had hardly slept since everything happened and this was a well-deserved break.

***

 Wesley decided after long consideration to go back to Cordy’a apartment and wait for Angel to wake up like the others were doing. Lorne was fine, but had said he needed his beauty sleep. Walking up the stairs and heading towards the door, Wesley suddenly felt nervous. Fred was there, and they hadn’t talked about what happened. Again he was taken over by a horrible thing and almost forced to hurt the girl that he cared about so much.

 For some reason, he pushed the door open quietly. He wished he hadn’t. Wesley wished that he had walked heavily the whole way up here and he wished he had banged on the door. He wished this because the first sight he saw was Fred and Gunn together on the couch. Not anything intimate or dirty, but it was heart wrenching to him.

 It made what was going on between their whole little triangle end, and it was clear whom Fred wanted. At first, Wesley thought she may have changed her mind, especially when she didn’t know he was under the force and she didn’t pull away when he kissed her.

 Now that was shot to pieces. Wesley shut the door behind him and decided to go back to his place and try to erase the picture he now had in his head of Fred snuggling up to Gunn. Just as he was half way down the hall, he felt a hand lightly touch his shoulder. Wesley turned and found that he was staring at Fred.

 “Fred.” He breathed out. “Why didn’t you come in?” Fred asked with a smile. Wesley stared back at her with an untrusting look. “Do me a favor,” Wesley started in a clod tone. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. I know what’s going on.” Fred put up her defenses. “OK Wesley...educate me.”

 He sighed and shook his head. “You said I was a good man, you said that you forgave me for what I did when Billy’s blood infected me. You lied to me.” Wesley exploded. Fred’s face was clouded with confusion. How could she not see it by now? “Lied?” she echoed. “Yes, lied,” he shot back instantly. “You made me think that you cared about me, and then...”

 Letting the words trail off, he focused on her face. She was deep in thought now, trying to make sense of what he was saying. “What did Gunn do that I didn’t, Fred?” Wesley could imagine the light bulb clicking above Fred’s head. “Wesley,” she started off softly, but Wesley wasn’t ready to hear it. He turned away from her and began to walk down the rest of the hall.

 “Wesley!” Fred called after him. This time, she fiercely grabbed his arm and made him look at her. “Do you think that it’s fair for you to say what you have to say and me not getting to say what I have to say about what you said?” Fred said very quickly. Wesley stared at her with a dumb founded look on his face. “I suppose...not?”

 “Exactly, so get ready to listen.”

***

 Back when she was trying to get Gunn to talk to her and he wouldn’t, Fred was angry. So angry that she thought she would never, ever, be any angrier. Well, she was wrong. Wesley had exploded at her and she was ready to explode right back. “I didn’t lie when I said you were a good man Wesley,” she started off. “I still think you are, of coarse that thought isn’t based on how you’re acting now.”

 “I see the way you look at Gunn. It’s the same way I look at you,” Wesley admitted. “Why won’t you look at me that way?” Her heart softened a little for him, but then her anger kicked in and reminded her of what a jerk Wesley had just been. “I don’t know.” She answered honestly. Wesley took in a deep breath, turning away from her when he exhaled.

 “I’m sorry, Wesley, but I can’t help how I feel.” Fred said lowly. Wesley turned again, with glistening eyes behind his glasses, and said, “So you admit it? You care for Gunn more than me?” Why was Wesley doing this to himself? Fred knew the real reasons why she wanted to keep her relationship with Gunn low key, for Wesley’s sake.

 Why was he torturing himself like this? “Please, Fred, answer me. I deserve the truth.” He pleaded with her. “It’s not necessarily “care” more rather than “want to be with,”” Fred replied quietly. “I’m sorry Wesley. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you, or anyone.” Wesley licked his lips and sighed.

 “No changing your mind?” he asked with raised eyebrows. She threw him a half smile before shaking her head. “OK, let me then take this opportunity to apologize for how I acted when under the force’s influence.” In response, Fred walked up and hugged him. He returned the embrace before pulling away from her. “Is Angel awake?” he asked after a little awkward moment.

 Fred wanted to talk more, but his eyes told her that it was done. “Yeah, Cordy’s with him now.” Wesley nodded. “Right, I’ll see you in the office tomorrow then.” Fred grabbed his arm one more time before he left. “There is nothing that you could ever do to me, or anyone else, that would make me think that you are not a good man. Remember that, Wesley.” Fred told him.

 With a small smile, Wesley was gone, and Fred was left feeling pretty crappy. She had broken his heart; hurt him...more than he had hurt her. How was she going to work beside him? “Fred?” Fred turned at Gunn’s call to her. “What are you doing out here?”

 “Settling some old business.” She answered. Gunn looked confused before reaching his hand out for her’s. She took it and he led her back into Cordy’s apartment.

***

 Fred woke up well rested, even though she was next to Gunn on Cordy’s uncomfortable couch. She looked over at Gunn’s sleeping form and smiled before getting up without waking him. She stretched and walked into the kitchen, where Connor’s play pin was. Fred figured she would handle the Connor duties this morning since she was in such a good mood already, but the play pin was empty when she reached it.

 She furrowed her brow in thought before realizing that Connor’s father was right in the other room. However, she just didn’t feel right about this. She gently opened Cordelia’s bedroom door. She saw an Angel-Cordelia knot on the bed, but Connor wasn’t there. Fred walked in, noticing the crib Cordy had in the corner of her room, and decided that Connor had to be in there.

 Fred’s face turned white when there was nothing in there. She got out of the room and woke Gunn. “I’m up, I’m up!” he shouted. Fred shushed him and he immediately paying attention when he saw the look of panic on her face. “What’s the matter?”

 “Connor’s not here.” She whispered. Gunn looked at her like she was crazy. “Of course he’s here.” Fred shook her head. “I looked everywhere there is to look in Cordy’s apartment, Charles. He is not here.” Just then, the door to Cordelia’s bedroom opened and Angel stepped out. “Where’s Connor?” he asked urgently. Cordelia was right behind him, an equal look of worry on her face.

 “I don’t know.”

--
fin