There they sat at the fountain in the "courtyard" of Sunnydale High. They
looked like a miserable threesome, wrapped up in the woes of life and
tragedy. In truth, Buffy and Xander had joined Willow with every intention
of cheering her up. They each loved Willow and they couldn't bear to see
her so despairing.
"Malcolm...Moloch..." Willow said with a slight tremor she was trying to
keep out of her voice. She shrugged. "Whatever he's called. The one boy
that's really liked me and he's a demon robot. What does that say about
me?"
Buffy shrugged imperceptibly. "Doesn't say anything about you."
Willow stared at the ground. "I mean, I thought I was really falling..."
she trailed off. She thought to herself, She clenched her teethe together in an attempt
to hold herself together.
"Hey," Buffy said, forcing a smile, "did you forget? The one boy I've had
the hots for since I moved here? Turned out to be a vampire."
Xander nodded his head, grinning like a mad man. "Right, and the teacher I
had a crush on? Giant preying mantis."
Willow nodded absently. "That's true."
Xander shrugged. "That's life on the Hellmouth."
"Let's face it." Buffy looked at Willow. "None of us are ever gonna' have
a happy relationship,"
Xander shrugged. "We're doomed!"
Willow smiled wryly. "Yeah!"
Then they shared a short laugh, and abruptly fell into a deep silence.
Willow frowned. She glanced
cautiously at Xander. Then she looked over at Buffy. She wanted to cry.
They had no idea what they did to her and yet it should be as plain as day.
"Hey, I know..." Buffy smiled as she came up with a plan. "Let's go to the
Bronze tonight and party our blues away."
"Isn't it a school night?" Willow asked softly.
Xander shrugged and grinned. "Never stopped us before." He put his arm
around Willow. "What do you say, Will? You, me, the Slayer! At the
Bronze. A little dancing...a little drinking..."
She looked at him.
"Pop soda, of course," Xander said, raising a hand. "We'll chase your blues
away."
Willow looked from Buffy to Xander. She didn't actually feel like going out
tonight, but they were trying to cheer her up. Maybe it would be nice. She
nodded. "Okay...I have to go home first so...I'll meet you guys there.
Okay?"
"Sure, Will." Xander gave her a squeeze.
Buffy gave Willow a reassuring smile. "We'll see you there."
They went their separate ways. At least Willow thought they had until she
stopped to turn around. She saw Buffy and Xander walking together. They
were walking side by side, talking and laughing. Xander, she supposed, was
probably saying something witty to which Buffy would laugh and tell him how
funny he was.
Willow let out a long weary sigh. Then she headed into the school, heading
for her locker. She opened her locker and absently went through the books
she was carrying to trade them for books she wanted to take home with her.
It was automatic for her, she wasn't giving it a thought because her
thoughts were not on her surroundings. They weren't on her homework. They
weren't on the Bronze, or vampire slaying.
Her thoughts were of Xander and Buffy...Buffy and Xander.
She went to close her locker when something fell out onto the floor. She
looked down and she saw a computer floppy disc laying at her feet. Curious,
she picked it up and looked at it, turning it over in her hands. On the
little white sticker on the front of the disc were the words... [Tell No
One]
Puzzled, she slipped it into one of her books...and forgot about it for
awhile.
------
"Willow!" Buffy bounced on her feet and waved at her friend as she entered
the Bronze.
Willow saw Buffy at their favorite table and she approached the table.
Buffy frowned with concern. Willow was moving as if she had no motivation.
Her face was almost a blank. But the pain in her eyes was not something a
person could ignore. Especially if that person was someone who knew Willow.
"Willow, are you okay?" Buffy asked as her friend took a seat at the table.
Willow nodded. "I'm fine." She looked around.
Buffy noticed. "Oh...Xander's not here yet."
"Oh...He didn't come here with you?" Willow avoided eye contact.
"No. He didn't." Buffy looked at Willow, regarding her as she realized
what her friend must be thinking. "Willow...Look. It's not worth being so
depressed over."
This time Willow did look at Buffy. "What's not worth being depressed over?
Who-who said I was depressed anyway? What? Are you and-and Xander the
only ones who can have long faces but I get to be excluded?" She frowned.
"I don't get to be upset because I have to break up with my boy friend
who-who was a demon? He was nice to me, Buffy...before I knew he was a
demon! He was nice to me...Like Xander was nice to me."
"Xander? Willow..."
"You think I'm upset over Malcolm...over Moloch!" She looked at her
defiantly. "Well, I'm not!! It's...It's Xander! But Xander likes you, not
me."
Buffy put up her hands. "Will, we went over this. Don't you see? You
thought he was after me before, but then we found out that he was possessed
by a hyena. It wasn't him."
"He said some things..."
"It wasn't Xander!" Buffy re-emphasized.
Willow got real quiet as she looked away from Buffy. She looked at her
hands folded on the table in front of her and frowned. When she did speak,
her voice almost cracked with emotion. "Words are a funny thing, Buffy.
When a person says something, they can't take it back. What has been said
is said...And-and I believe that if it can be said then it must be true."
She took a deep breath. "Maybe the hyena in him said those things...but
what if somewhere deep inside him, Xander was thinking those things."
Buffy looked aghast at her friend. She grabbed her hand and squeezed it
reassuringly. "Willow, no! Xander doesn't think of you like that!"
Willow looked at Buffy and hesitated. This time her voice did crack with
emotion. "I know what he said to me. I wonder what he said to you."
<"Do you know how long I've waited for you to stop pretending that we aren't
attracted?"> Buffy remembered Xander's words clearly. <"Until Willow stops
kidding herself that I could settle with anyone but you?">
Buffy tried to clear her thoughts and tell Willow something, but she was at
a loss for words.
Willow shook her head. "No. I may not be a slayer. I may only be a
'guy-friend, pasty-faced' Willow, but I am still Willow and-and I can walk
home alone."
Buffy didn't know what to do. She wished Xander would arrive before Willow
made it out the door but that didn't happen. What did happen, however, was
that Willow passed by Angel who said a greeting to her. When Willow kept
going without a word, Angel turned to watch her with concern. Just as she
disappeared through the doors, Buffy approached him.
"What's wrong with Willow?" Angel asked.
"She's mad at me because she thinks I'm after Xander!" she said in
exasperation.
Angel looked at her. "Are you?"
Buffy squinted her eyes at him. "Am I what?!"
"After Xander."
She looked at him in disbelief. "How could you ask me that?! No, I'm not
after Xander." She tossed her hands up to stop him from asking any more
questions. "Angel, could you please follow Willow home? Make sure she gets
there safe?"
Angel nodded his head. "Sure. I'll see her safely home."
Angel left the Bronze and in no time, he had caught up with Willow. He
caught up enough to keep his presence from being none. He stayed in the
shadows and watched.
Willow looked so sad it almost broke his heart. He didn't know her as well
as Buffy did, but anyone who was important to Buffy was just as important to
him. The girls heart was obviously broken and Angel knew from experience
that a person could get physically hurt in many different ways, and the body
would still heal with a little time. But a broken heart was not so easily
healed. That took a lifetime...and some times more than one.
Willow walked on alone...and Angel followed. Across the street, Angel
noticed that they were not walking alone after all. There were four others
in the shadows and they were keeping step with Willow. He watched Willow
and was certain that she was unaware of her followers...of her stalkers.
Angel focused on them. They were human...but there was something about
them. Some kind of powerful presence.
They all made it to Willow's house without a hitch. Willow went inside,
unaware of those who waited out in the night. Angel decided to stick around
and he was glad he did. The four stalkers were aware of him as well, and
whether it was because he was there or some other reason, they didn't come
any closer to the Rosenberg house. In fact, after awhile, they left
altogether.
But Angel stayed yet awhile longer.
-----
Willow entered into her home and she found her father heading through the
hall with a suitcase in his hand.
"Hi, sweetheart," Ira Rosenberg said in greeting. "How was your day?"
Willow frowned at the suitcase in his hand. "You...you're going away again?
But you just got home!"
"I'm sorry, Willow. But I also have to make a living, as does your mom."
He hesitated. "Listen. There's groceries in the fridge, and if that
doesn't meet your cravings, we left money on your computer desk. We'll be
back on Monday."
"But..."
"But what, Willow?"
She looked at him. "Dad...I was kidnapped by a demon robot! He-he was
going to kill me, but not until after he thanked me for-for freeing him from
some-some dusty old book that smelled like stinky mildew! And-and then he
got into the computer, and-and Giles said he could have destroyed the world,
but-but he and Miss Calendar did a spell and conjured him back in-into the
book! Plus, Buffy-she's the Slayer, Dad!- she and Xander came to save me
from the CRD and-and Buffy fried the demon and-and Xander punched out one of
the minions." She paused to catch her breath. "Oh, you know what a minion
is, don't you?"
Her father just looked at her in silence for a moment. Then, he shook his
head and laughed. "You know, Willow...some lucky boy is going to find you
and you are going to make him happy. You're smart, and you're also very
imaginative." He kissed her on the forehead. "Well, I can't miss my
flight. We'll call you tomorrow."
And then he was gone.
Willow stood there in stunned silence. The house was big enough for a
family...but alone, it was just too big.
"What is wrong with me?" she asked out loud, even though there was no one
around to answer her. She walked in a daze toward her bedroom and turned a
light on. She looked at the mirror above her dresser and studied her
reflection.
<"Xander, what's wrong with you?"> Willow closed her eyes as the first
tears began to fall. <"I guess you've noticed that I've been different
around you lately." "Yes."> She tried to stop the thoughts, the memories,
but they were so fresh in her mind. <"I think, um...I think it's because my
feelings for you have been changing..."> "No..." Willow said softly as the
tears began to flow freely now. <"...and, well, we've been friends for such
a long time that I feel like I need to tell you something."> Willow fell to
her knees and buried her face in her hands. <"I've, um..." There was a
sigh. "I've decided to drop geometry, so I won't be needing your math help
any more which means..."> "Please, stop..." Willow cried as she lay on the
floor trying to block out the memory. <"...I won't have to look at your
pasty face again.">
Then there was that laugh. What had made it even worst was that the four
new friends of Xander had joined in on that laugh. It was the most horrible
sound Willow had ever heard. And it was the most painful thing she had ever
been faced with.
The damage was done.
Xander was lost to her.
Willow hugged her knees to herself and cried herself to sleep.
