In all his torturous years as a vampire with a soul, Angel had never
felt as strong an affinity to Shakespeare's tragic hero Hamlet as he
did now. To make love to Willow or not to make love to Willow, that
was his question. His little pep talk with Cordelia didn't help
either. She had planted an evil seed, telling him that he could use
this time to woo Willow so she loved him no matter what. It was like
he had told Buffy, he had a second chance. The problem was, he didn't
want to base his second chance on deceit. He wasn't Willow's husband
and he had no right to act like he was. Angel sighed, his decision
made. At least he didn't have to worry about it tonight. Willow
needed her rest. He opened their bedroom door.
"You're still awake." Angel licked his lips and stepped cautiously into
the room. He had been hoping she would be asleep. Then he could have
curled up beside her and lay with her until a case or one of Cordy's
vision's forced him away.
"I'm not sleepy." Willow held out her hand to him. "I was waiting for
you." Her mouth twitched as she saw the nervousness in Angel's dark
brown eyes. She knew he was afraid of hurting her, that he didn't
know that loving him could never hurt her. As Angel hesitantly took
her hand and sat on the very edge of their bed, Willow felt like a
Victorian gentleman seducing his virgin wife on their wedding night.
She grinned wickedly. She liked it. "Come into my parlor said the
spider to the fly."
"What?" Angel didn't catch Willow's huskily whispered words, but the
sound of her voice was doing things to his body that he hadn't
intended on happening. He wished he could find out what was behind
her naughty smile.
"Nothing." Willow laughed. She ran her hand up and down his arm.
"Are you busy tonight?"
If he moved, he would die. Angel held his whole body completely stiff.
"Uh, no...Cordelia hasn't had a vision or anything....they've, um,
seemed to have deserted me tonight."
"Maybe they thought you needed a night off." Willow dropped her hand
to Angel's thigh. "I'm not going to give you one though."
So much for having a few days grace period. Angel jumped up and stood
at the side of the bed. "Willow, you need your rest. The nurse
said...."
"I know what the nurse said." Willow sat up on her knees on the bed and
made her way toward Angel. "I also know that she doesn't know that I
am a witch. I heal faster than her normal patients." Willow leaned her
head on Angel's chest and wrapped her arms around him. She looked up
at him, her breath hitting the bare skin at his throat as she spoke.
"Besides, from what I hear, I've been resting for ages. I don't want
to rest anymore."
"Okay. We should go out then." Angel made a last ditch effort to
distract Willow. She was making it very difficult for him to follow
through on his decision. "I'll take you to dinner and then maybe a
movie if you aren't too tired."
"I'm not tired." Willow moved away a bit so she could see Angel's face.
Something else was bothering him. All of her old insecurities came
back to haunt her. "Don't you want to make love to me, Angel?"
Those big green eyes were his undoing. "Yes, I do. I love you." Angel
bent his head and kissed her doubts away. One hand tangled in her
hair and the other rested on the small of her back.
"I love you too," Willow declared breathlessly when he had finished
ravaging her mouth. She pulled him with her onto the bed. It had
been silly of her to even think that Angel didn't want her, she knew
how much he loved her. All she had to do was remember.
The road to Hell was paved with good intentions and Angel had already
been there. Instead, he took Cordelia's advice and went straight to
Heaven. He lost himself in the taste, the touch, the sounds, and the
feeling of making love to Willow. It was incredible. Better than his
fantasies. Better than his dreams. The most astounding thing was that
after, when he lay in bed with Willow nestled in his arms, he didn't
feel guilty. Angel was happy.
*****
That dread machine. Giles sipped his tea and looked with affectionate
melancholy at the computer. He had actually become quite proficient
on the thing, but kept up the premise of librarian fuddy-duddy because
the children enjoyed teasing him and he was no where near Willow's
ability. The last week had been a struggle without Willow. They were
all distracted and worried. It was going to get worse after he related
Wesley's news. Lord, help them all, but Glory had caused more damage
then they had thought possible. They had lost one of their own, but
not to death. It was worse knowing that Willow was alive and well, but
believed that her life was elsewhere. The loud ring of the cash
register as Anya rang up the last customer of the day's purchase
brought Giles' attention back to the store. Buffy, Dawn, and Xander
should be arriving soon.
"Hey, Watcher, what's up with the emergency meeting?" Spike appeared
from the back room.
"I wasn't aware that I had invited you to one." Giles drained his tea
and set the cup down with a clack. He didn't like Spike and he didn't
trust him, even though he had helped them protect Dawn and go up
against Glory. Spike was not a part of their group. No vampire was.
"I did, on my lunch break." Anya finished closing the register. She
found the Scooby meetings more comfortable for her when Spike was
present. Most of the gang's loathing and disdain was focused on him
then and she only caught it when she said something inappropriate. Her
face lit up when Xander walked in and she failed to give Giles her
reason for inviting Spike. Instead, she gave Xander a hello kiss. As
soon as Willow got better, she and Xander were getting married.
"Anya said you heard something about Red and my Grandsire. I got a
right to know what goes on with the Poof. He's family." Spike pulled
out a chair and sat down. The Watcher hated him, with good reason, but
he wouldn't let that scare him away. Angel had put up with it when he
had lived in Sunnydale, so could Spike. Spike lit up a cigarette. He
really had to stop this identifying with Peaches, it was disgusting.
Next thing you knew, he'd be moving in with the bloke like on that odd
couple show.
"What about Angel?" Buffy's hopeful voice broke Spike and Giles'
stalemate. "Is he bringing Willow home?" She dropped the shopping
bags from her and Dawn's trip to the mall to the floor and crossed
quickly to Giles. Angel had changed his mind. He was coming back to
her so they could help Willow together while rebuilding their
relationship.
"Everyone, please, sit down." Giles waited until they had done as he
asked. "Wesley called. Willow has woken up." His announcement was
met with excited whoops and hugging all around, which quickly died
when they realized that Giles didn't share their joy. "There is a
slight complication. Willow has suffered from partial memory loss."
"What doesn't she remember?" Xander asked. He held onto Anya's hand
tightly. It wasn't good. Giles had that 'not good' look on his face.
Of course, that could be because Willow was still with Angel. Giles
had reluctantly agreed that the best place for Willow was in Los
Angeles with Angel. Giles still had a latent mistrust when it came to
Angel and Angel's newfound feelings and connection to Willow made the
watcher uneasy because of Buffy. Xander knew that Giles was primarily
concerned with Buffy's feelings about Angel and Willow and that could
be a reason for his grimness.
"She doesn't remember Buffy or Dawn." Before any of them could exclaim
over his statement, Giles launched into the explanation Wesley had
given him about the effects of the backlash from the severed link
between Willow and Dawn when she was doing Buffy's resurrection spell.
"Well, we'll just have to go and jog her memory," Buffy insisted. She
understood the reason why it was her that Willow didn't remember, but
it still hurt. Willow was one of the most important people in her
life and she needed her. It wasn't fair that she had to lose Willow.
Who would she talk to about her problems? Who would she share ice
cream and movie night with? Who could she talk to about her plans to
get Angel back now that his soul was permanent?
"You can't do that, Buffy. Cordelia tried to explain who you are and
Willow was immediately in great pain. If she's forced to remember, her
brain would overload and she would die. Her memories have to come to
her naturally."
"How long will it take? Does she have to be with Angel the whole
time? Can't she just come home and I'll avoid her."
"I don't know how long it will take. It's possible that Willow will
never regain her memory of you. And she has to stay with Angel." Giles
looked at Buffy's dejected face and sighed. The worst news was yet
to come. Buffy had been upset by Angel's pretense of being Willow's
husband when the girl had been in a coma and unaware of it. There was
no telling how the slayer would react to the news that Willow thought
that Angel was her husband. "It seems that Willow's subconscious
picked up on things she had heard while in a coma. Willow woke up
believing that Angel is her husband."
Spike's sharp bark of laughter broke the stunned silence that had
fallen after Giles finished speaking. He turned to Anya. "Good thing
you invited me, Pet, or else I wouldn't have known to get my new
Grandmum a present at Christmas."
"Willow's Jewish, you don't have to get her a Christmas present," Anya
answered. "Maybe some 'welcome to the family' flowers would be nice."
"Shut up." Buffy's lips had turned white, they were pressed together
so tightly. What had she done to deserve this? She had given her life
for this world and what did she get back? Not a second chance with her
first true love. No, he was too busy being married to her best
friend! "So, I'm just supposed to stay here and fight the good fight
on the Hellmouth while Angel and Willow play house?"
"That's all we can do, Buffy." Giles was worried. Despite the
underlying sarcasm, Buffy had said that way too calmly. There were no
tears in her eyes.
"It's okay, Buffy." Dawn hugged her sister. "It's not like Willow
doesn't want to remember us, it's because of the spell." She didn't
say anything about Angel. She didn't know what to say that would make
it better.
"I know, Dawn. I'm fine." Buffy took a deep breath. She knew that
Willow had never intended to hurt her. She knew that Willow would
never deliberately take Angel away from her. This was fate torturing
her again. "Willow will remember everything soon. She will. I have
to go for a walk now." Buffy stood up and walked out of the magic
shop before anyone could stop her.
"Buffy took the news well." Anya smiled. She was glad that Buffy was
growing as a person too and wasn't jealous of Willow just like she
wasn't jealous of Willow because she was friends with Xander.
"She's going to blow." Xander exchanged concerned looks with Giles.
"And it won't be pretty when she does."
*****
It was all worth it. Meeting Darla in that dark alley and being made
into a vampire. Being cursed by gypsies. Loving Buffy and losing his
soul. Willow restoring his soul and Buffy sending him to Hell. Willow
bringing him back. Leaving Buffy and Willow for Los Angeles. Wolfram
and Hart bringing Darla back. Losing Darla to his insane childe.
Almost losing himself. His soul becoming permanent and leaving Buffy
for the final time. It was all worth it because it had given him
Willow. Angel was now convinced that he and Willow would have fallen
in love if he hadn't shut down the link and moved from Sunnydale.
This was supposed to have happened. It was too right.
"Daydreaming again?" Willow walked into Angel's office and shut the
door. She had been up and around for a week now. She had called
Xander, Giles and Spike and told them she was fine. Giles had seemed
weird, but that was probably because he missed her. He hadn't wanted
her to move to L. A., but since that's where her husband was, that's
where she had to be.
"I prefer to call it thinking." Angel pushed his chair back from his
desk to make room for Willow to climb onto his lap.
"At least I can't be accused of distracting you." Willow placed little
kisses along his jaw line and nibbled his earlobe. She felt the
beginning rumble of a contented purr in Angel's chest and she grinned.
His reactions to her touch always thrilled her.
"I was thinking about you." Angel tipped Willow's head back and
brushed a kiss to her lips. "I never dreamed life could be this
perfect." He tangled his hands in her hair. He couldn't get enough of
its soft silky feel or the taste of her lips and satin skin. They
made love as often as possible. Willow's passionate and caring nature
meshed impeccably with both his soul and demon. Every moment he had a
chance, Angel prayed to the Powers that Willow never regained her
memory, that she would always be his wife. It was selfish, but he
couldn't help it.
A loud crash and a cry of pain broke up their make-out session.
"Vision," Angel and Willow said at the same time. They untangled
themselves and left his office to make sure that Cordelia was okay.
She was laying on the couch with Wesley and Gunn hovering over her
protectively.
Pain and fear slammed into Cordelia's brain with the force of a great
white shark battering its victim. Flashes of a young teenaged girl,
tears mixing with blood from a cut on her cheek, stumbling down a
dark alley. Things pursuing her, cat-like things with scales and
tails like she had seen on dragons in story books as a child. The
girl's screams reverberated in Cordelia's mind and she sobbed in agony.
Then it was gone, not the vision - she could still see the girl as she
was attacked behind a trendy Italian restaurant not very far away - it
was the pain that disappeared. Cordelia opened her eyes to find Willow
sitting beside her, her hand pressed to Cordelia's forehead.
"Is that better?" Willow removed her hand and Cordelia sat up on the
couch.
"Yes. I feel fine. What did you do?" Cordelia rubbed a temple. It
was odd not to have a thudding headache or the residual fear crawling
up her spine. Not that she missed it.
"It's a separation spell. It'll separate the visions from the pain
and fear of the victim. You'll probably still feel an initial pain
when the vision starts, but after that the spell will take over."
"No more migraines." Cordelia hugged Willow. She was so glad her old
friend was here. She made Angel so happy and she fit in with the rest
of them so well. She never wanted Willow to leave. "Thank you. Oh,
Angel, four blocks down behind that Italian restaurant a fourteen
year old girl is going to be attacked by these lizard-cat things.
There was a lot of them."
"Let's roll then." Gunn stood up. He gave Cordelia a hand up. He
looked to Angel and Willow and wondered if the vampire would let his
witch join them. Gunn was curious to see what kind of fire power she
had, especially after she had blasted two demons that he knew of.
"Angel. I'm fine." Willow could see the protest in Angel's eyes. He
had been such a pain since she had woken up and the only reason why
she let him get away with it was because he was so damn cute when he
was overprotective. "I want to help and not just by doing research."
"I know." Angel was torn. He knew Willow was getting impatient with
him and he knew that she could take care of herself in battle. He
didn't want Willow out there with them because he was deathly afraid
that something in the heat of battle would trigger a Buffy memory and
he would lose her. He couldn't keep her locked in the hotel forever
either. "Let's go."
*****
The Hyperion was empty when she arrived. Angel was probably out
rescuing innocents with his eager band of do-gooders. Alone, she
decided to do a little snooping. Food and blood in the refrigerator,
a few dirty dishes in the sink - very homey. In the bedroom, the bed
was neatly made, but there were female touches that shouldn't have
been there. Make-up in the bathroom, dresses in the closet, underwear
and silky nightgowns in the drawers. She seethed at the thought of
Angel living with another woman - sharing his life, his bed. There
was no way she satisfied him. He was still Angel after all. Darla
smirked to herself and sat on the end of the bed to wait. She had a
few things to say to her boy and his bride.
