"You don't know who Buffy is?" Angel's hands stilled at Willow's
wrists. She was supposed to be fine. He touched her forehead. A
small red mark marred her cheek.
"Have I met her? Xander didn't break up with Anya and start dating
this Buffy person, did he?"
"No, no, Buffy and Xander aren't dating." Angel ran his hands up and
down Willow's arms to calm her. "What's the last thing you remember?"
"I...I was in Sunnydale. I had to do a spell...everything's fuzzy."
Willow rubbed her forehead. A dull thudding started behind her eyes.
"You know who I am, right?" Cordelia asked.
"Of course." Willow smiled, her headache disappearing. "You're
Cordelia, he's Wesley, he's Gunn, and she's Fred." Willow pointed each
of them out in turn. She snuggled closer to Angel. "And you are my
Angel. What are you going to ask me next? When Angel and I got
married?" Willow laughed softly. She closed her eyes for a moment,
suddenly weary, so she missed the jaws dropping in the room.
"Um, uh, actually that is a standard question when conducting a
neurological exam." Wesley adjusted his glasses. He had an idea about
what had happened. Now he needed to know what Willow remembered to
confirm it. "When did you and Angel get married?"
"A month ago." Willow laced her fingers with Angel's. She still
couldn't believe that they were together, that Angel had overcome his
belief that he didn't deserve happiness. She loved him so much.
Angel listened to Willow repeat the story he had given her mother about
his proposal and their elopement. His fantasy was coming true. He was
married to Willow and she loved him. It shone in her eyes when she
looked at him. He could feel it in her touch when she reached up and
caressed his cheek. She wasn't going to leave him.
"And, ahem, you do remember that Angel is...ah, that is, he is a..."
Wesley stumbled. If the girl didn't remember anything of slayers,
vampires, and demons, than things would get difficult.
"A vampire? Yes, Wesley, I remember. I also remember that you were a
watcher like Giles was, Gunn is a demon hunter, Fred was sucked into
an alternate dimension, and Cordelia is a Seer for the PTB. Oh, and
I'm a witch. Is there anything else you would like to ask me?" Willow
grinned at the watcher. She knew her friends were worried about her,
but she didn't quite know why. Her memory was fine, she remembered
Angel and their life together and that was all that mattered.
"You don't remember Buffy at all?" Cordelia took over the questioning.
She stepped closer to the bed. Maybe whatever Willow had, she could
catch it.
"No, but obviously I'm supposed to. Who is she?"
"Buffy is the vampire slayer," Wesley started to explain.
"What?" Willow interrupted with sudden panic. "Did something happen to
Faith?"
"No," Angel answered. "Faith is fine."
"Good. I thought for a minute there that something had happened to
her in prison. It would have been so sad for her to die when she's
working so hard to redeem herself. Don't do that to me, Wesley."
"Sorry." Wesley sent Angel an apologetic look when the vampire glared
at him. They would have to watch what they said. Willow's memory
seemed to be mostly intact, which would fit in with his theory.
"Buffy is your best friend, Willow." Cordelia decided to explain.
"She went to...."
"Ahhh!" Willow screamed and bent over, holding her head. Lightening
pain flashed through her brain.
"Willow!" Angel held her. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know
what was wrong. "What's wrong, Ionuin? How can I help?"
"Nothing. I'm fine." Willow lifted her head and gave Angel a weak
smile. "Just a really bad headache. I'm sorry, Cordelia, you were
telling me how I know Buffy."
"Yes, in Sunnydale...."
"Buffy has taken over for Faith," Wesley interrupted. "You only met
her the once when we went to Sunnydale to pack your things for your
move to Los Angeles and to do the spell. It was a healing spell for
Buffy, so that's why we thought you should remember her. You should
get some rest now, Miss..Willow. You've been through an ordeal."
"Wesley's right." Angel lowered Willow down onto the pillows. Her eyes
were already drifting closed. "I'll be right back. I have some
business to discuss with Wes," Angel whispered. Willow nodded sleepily
and let go of his hand. Angel kissed her forehead and left the room
with the others. "What's going on?" Angel asked as soon as they were
downstairs.
"Since you brought Miss R..Willow here, I've been researching power
linkages and what happens when they are severed. As we know, it
creates a backlash that short circuits the brain of the witch. Willow
has recovered, something very rare I might add, but not fully. Because
Buffy was the focus of the spell and Dawn was the power source, the
parts of Willow's brain that contained her memories of them has
sustained the most damage." Wesley paced the lobby as his theory took
shape. "Most likely, Willow was supposed to stay in a coma until her
synapses were fully recovered, but something woke her up...."
"She was attacked by a demon. I threw it off her and it screamed.
The sound immobilized me and it was about to rip my throat out when
Willow blasted it," Angel summarized the skirmish in his bedroom.
"Ah." Wesley nodded. It was all falling into place. "Willow awoke
and her consciousness needed to fill in the holes in her memory. She
recognized Gunn and Fred and knew some of their backgrounds and she
knew of your fictitious story about being her husband, so her
subconscious must have picked up on things she had heard while in a
coma. Angel, that story about your elopement, you looked like you had
heard it before."
"I told it to her Mom," Angel confirmed. "So, uh, everything she
heard, she thinks happened?"
"To a certain degree. It would depend if it fit in with her actual
memories. Of course, she would have to make up memories of your
courtship and life as a married couple." Wesley didn't notice Angel
shift uncomfortably or Cordelia raise her eyebrow at the vampire. She
had walked in on Angel during one of his story telling sessions with
Willow and knew that if Willow remembered anything about her
relationship with Angel, it wasn't her imagination that came up with
it. Wesley continued, oblivious to the exchange between the seer and
the vampire. "The mind is a complex and wondrous thing. It's
capable of...."
"So, what do we do?" Gunn cut Wesley off mid-lecture. He wanted a plan
of action. "Tell Red the truth?"
"No. You saw what happened when Cordelia tried. I think it would
cause Willow great pain if we tried to force the memories on her and
I don't think she would retain them if we did." Wesley glanced at
Angel. He wasn't sure if what he was about to suggest would be good
for his friend, but it was their only option. Hopefully, if Willow
recovered fully and moved on, Angel could do so as well. "It's also
possible that forcing her memory could cause her mind to shut down,
sending her back into a coma or...it could kill her."
"No one mentions Buffy," Angel ordered unnecessarily. "And there is
no way she can come here to visit. Seeing Buffy might trigger a memory
Willow isn't ready for. I say we stick with what Willow believes."
"Can I be the one to call Buffy and tell her she can't come because
you're shacking up with her best friend?" Cordelia grinned and bounced
on her toes. She had to be the one who told Buffy. It was petty.
It was jealous. It was shallow and bitchy. It was all the things she
was supposed to have grown out of in her journey to being a better
person, but Cordelia didn't care. Buffy had moved in and messed up her
perfect highschool existence. She had lorded over the fact that she
had Angel, the hottest guy in town, and no matter what she did,
Cordelia couldn't have him. Not that Cordelia wanted Angel now, she
just didn't want Buffy to have him. He was her friend and she knew he
deserved better than the tortuous relationship he and Buffy shared.
"Only if you don't say it like that." Angel shook his head as Cordelia
practically dove for the phone. "Could you also call the nurse and
tell her that Willow has woken up. Don't say anything about the
memory loss, we already know what caused it and we don't need nurses
and doctors messing around with something they don't truly understand."
"They would be interested in the specificity of her memory loss,"
Wesley agreed. "They might even recommend that we try to jog her
memory."
"The nurse will be here in a few minutes." Cordelia hung up the phone.
"Now I get to call Buffy."
"What's to stop her from coming anyway?" Gunn asked. He didn't want
to burst Angel's balloon of happiness or ruin Cordelia's fun, but it
was a possibility. "From what you've said about her, it sounds like
she doesn't need anyone's permission to do what she wants."
"Exaggerate. Tell her that if Willow sees or hears her or if we even
talk about her, then Willow will die. Buffy is stubborn and impulsive,
but she won't take a chance with a friend's life. After Cordelia is
done talking to Buffy, can you give Giles a clearer explanation,
Wesley?"
"Of course."
"Good. I'm going upstairs to see how Willow is doing. Could you send
the nurse up when she gets here?" At their nods, Angel left them to
their business and went back up to Willow. His wife.
*****
A sharp stinging sensation on her cheek woke Willow again, but this
time she didn't find Angel almost getting his throat ripped out when
she opened her eyes. She touched her cheek and uttered a healing
spell. The stinging stopped just as the bedroom door opened and Angel
entered. Worry still creased his brow and she wished she could make
it go away. She knew he was worried because she couldn't remember the
new slayer...Bunny?
"Hey." Angel sat down on the bed beside her and kissed her forehead.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. You're worried." Willow brushed her thumb across his brow.
"What did Wesley say about my selective amnesia?"
"He thinks it's a side effect of the spell." Angel closed his eyes and
reveled in Willow's soft touch as she caressed his face. He took her
other hand in his. "Does there seem to be any holes in your memory?
Things that are fuzzy?"
"A few." Willow threaded her fingers through Angel's hair, scraping his
scalp lightly with her nails. She shifted closer to him. "A few
things aren't very clear. I know that we weren't together when I was
in highschool. I was dating Oz and you were..." Willow frowned, the
headache that had disappeared with sleep returning. "I know that you
lost your soul for a while, but I can't remember how it happened."
"I had a moment of complete happiness." Angel didn't elaborate further.
He let go of Willow's hand and slipped his arms around her waist,
leaning into her. "You restored my soul."
"And I obviously took care of that happiness problem." Willow closed
the rest of the gap between them and kissed him. She sucked his lower
lip into her mouth and ran her tongue across it. Angel opened his
mouth wider, allowing her exploring tongue more access while
undertaking a little expedition of his own.
Reluctantly, Angel broke the kiss. He couldn't let this go too far.
He couldn't take advantage of Willow. "Is there anything else?"
"What?" Willow was still lost in the tingling feeling their kiss had
produced. "Oh, right, fuzzy memories. I can't remember how you
ended up in Hell. When I try to remember, my head starts to hurt."
"Then don't think about them. When you're ready to remember, you
will." Angel toyed with a strand of her hair, suddenly sad. He didn't
want Willow to remember, because then she wouldn't be his wife. She
wouldn't love him. "Focus on the things you do remember."
"Like you." Willow smiled. "I remember that the best thing I ever did
was bring you out of Hell." She leaned in to kiss him again, but
Angel pushed her back slightly.
"You did that? How?" He had always thought that the PTB had brought
him out of Hell to be their warrior. He couldn't believe that this
delicate girl had the wherewithal to drag him out of Hell, actually he
did. Willow had always been stronger than she looked, what he didn't
believe was that she had cared enough about him to do it.
"I could feel your pain. They were tormenting you. I used to fall
asleep crying thinking about what they did to you." Tears sprang to
Willow's eyes and Angel kissed them away as they made their way down
her cheeks. He hadn't realized that their link had been active during
his time in Hell. He had thought she would have been spared that.
"I had to get you out of there. I used this ring of yours - I can't
remember where I got it - as a focal point in a retrieval spell. The
spell was supposed to bring you to the ring. I thought it hadn't
worked because you didn't appear right away. Then I felt your pain
lessen and then finally you were back."
"Oh, God, Willow, I didn't know you had done that." Angel hugged her.
He rained kisses over her face. "Thank you. Thank you for my soul...
my life. I owe you so much."
Willow cupped Angel's face in her hands. "You don't owe me anything,
Angel. You love me and I love you."
Those words shivered through Angel's system. Willow loved him. His
heart swelled and he thought it might actually beat. "I love you,
Ionuin." Angel captured Willow's lips, sweeping his tongue into her
mouth. Willow moaned and pulled him down onto her as she lay back on
the bed. Her hands moved to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt and
slipping inside to play across his cool skin. Angel purred into her
ear as he buried his face into the soft curtain of her hair. He
squeezed her hip and eased his fingers under the waistband of her
pajama boxers.
"Angel!" Willow thrust up toward him. She had never felt anything like
she felt in his arms. He loved her so completely, without reservation
or condition. He never expected her to be anyone but who she was.
Willow had never had anyone love her like that before. She groaned in
disappointment when a knock on the door caused Angel to pull away from
her.
"That's the nurse." Angel found himself panting from the effort it
had taken to tear himself away from her silken skin and sweet taste.
"I asked Cordelia not to say anything about your memory loss because
of the spell."
"What memory loss?" Willow opened her eyes in a wide innocent stare.
"Do I have memory loss?" She was rewarded with another kiss from
Angel, but it was too brief. She sighed and pouted as he left their
bed and opened the door to the overly cheerful private nurse.
*****
The lobby was conspicuously empty except for Cordelia. She had chased
the others out after she had decided she was the best one to talk to
Angel. She was the only one who knew both Willow and Angel really
well. Cordelia looked up from her magazine when she heard Angel
coming down the stairs. She couldn't help noticing that his hair was
rumpled and he was buttoning his shirt. There hadn't been enough time
for Angel to do something irreparably stupid, so it couldn't be too
late for The Talk.
"Where did everyone go?" Angel looked around the strangely empty lobby.
He had just gotten used to having people in it again. "Did Wesley
talk to Giles?"
"Yes, he explained everything and Giles will stress the fact that Buffy
can't see Willow when he tells her. She was doing the sister bonding
thing with Dawn when I called so I didn't get to tell her." Cordelia
was positive that the PTB were conspiring to make her be a better
person, but couldn't they have at least given her this one little bit
of satisfaction? It was the least they could have done to make up for
the migraines.
"Sorry. So, why did the others leave?" Angel didn't like the look in
Cordelia's eye and he definitely did not like the fact that they were
alone. This was their gathering place, unless they were out on a case.
Gunn and Wesley were always here at this time of the day and Fred, she
spent as much time in the hotel as possible because it was her safe
haven from the world she was no longer used to.
"I told them to go for coffee. We need to talk about Willow and this
plan to go along with what she believes." Cordelia put down her
magazine and moved from behind the front desk. She gestured for Angel
to join her on one of the lobby couches.
"What about it? It was Wesley's idea." Angel tried for casual
ignorance. He knew what she was concerned about and if he could blush
guiltily, she would know that he had already given in to a little bit
of temptation.
"Willow believes you are her husband. What happens when she expects
you to perform your husbandly duties? A situation that doesn't look
all that unfamiliar to you." Cordelia was afraid for Angel. She had
eavesdropped - once by accident, the rest on purpose - when he would
tell Willow about their fantasy life together. He loved the witch and
Cordelia didn't want him doing something he would regret.
"I talked to the nurse. I told her that I thought Willow looked pale
and weakened. She's going to recommend that she rest and not engage
in any strenuous activity. That should postpone things for a few days
and after that...I don't know." He was at a loss. He knew it would be
so very wrong for him to take advantage of Willow's amnesia, but he
didn't think he could stop himself. Maybe he needed Cordelia to read
him the riot act and remind him that Willow would hate him once she
remembered the truth.
"May I make a suggestion?" At Angel's nod, Cordelia continued, "Go
for it." She almost laughed aloud at his stunned expression. He had
been expecting her to give him a 'no sex' lecture, as were Wesley and
Gunn, but she didn't see things that way. "You deserve happiness,
Angel, for however long you're allowed it. I say take it."
"Willow will hate me."
"Willow could never hate anyone, especially not you. She'll be
mortified and probably blame herself," Cordelia pointed out. "Look,
I'm not going to lie to you. Right now, Wesley and Gunn think that
I'm telling you to suddenly have business in another city so you can
avoid the whole issue, but they don't know Willow like I do. Now, she
didn't love you before this happened, but she did care a lot for you,
and if you make the most of this stolen time you have with her, she
might love you after." Cordelia smiled encouragingly. "Don't be noble,
Angel, and give up your chance to show Willow you love her." Cordelia
stood up and when the nurse came down and pronounced Willow healthy,
Cordelia left with her, leaving Angel to hopefully take her advice.
