"That bitch!" Buffy hissed as she entered Willow's hospital room. That
morning, as promised, Willow was deemed well enough to move from ICU
to a private room.
"Buffy?" Giles frowned at her. For a heart-stopping moment he thought
that she might somehow know about the things Angel had told him last
night. He dreaded the time when Angel would tell her, but it had to be
done.
"Tara!" Buffy glanced at Angel. He hadn't even looked up when she
entered the room. Instead, his sole focus was Willow. He was
whispering to her quietly while playing with her hair. "That bitch
left Willow. I went to their place to pick up the things you asked me
to and I found this." Buffy waved a piece of paper around before
shoving the offensive thing at Giles. "I can't believe her! She just
packed up and left and after everything Willow did for her, standing
by her when she went looney tunes because of Glory. How could she do
this?"
"I don't know, Buffy." Giles folded the note. He watched Angel nuzzle
Willow's ear as he whispered to her. Actually, he had an idea. Tara
wasn't the type of girl to fight for a lost cause and she must have
sensed something of the connection between Willow and Angel. From her
note, Giles also knew that Tara had convinced herself that Willow was
dead. Perhaps it was preferable to the alternative of her relationship
with Willow slowly dying as Willow's bond with Angel grew. Giles had
no doubt that the bond between the vampire and witch would grow and
their feelings with it, the way Angel was behaving was proof enough
that he wouldn't voluntarily shut the link down again.
If she was really honest with herself, Buffy knew that her righteous
indignation over Tara's abandonment was not all on Willow's behalf. She
was angry with Tara for leaving because she was supposed to stop this
madness. With Tara around, Angel would have had to step aside and let
her sit with Willow and whisper encouragement. If Tara had been there,
Angel couldn't be so damn convincing in his assumed role as Willow's
husband. He still hadn't looked up. There was a time when Angel's
gaze never left her when she was in a room. "Angel, how is Willow
doing? Are you hungry? Because I can go to Willie's."
"I'm fine. Willow's getting stronger." Angel kissed Willow's forehead
and stood up. He didn't want to have this conversation with Buffy,
especially in front of Willow. He was afraid that when Buffy became
upset it would unsettle her. "Could I speak to you outside the room
for a moment, Buffy?"
"Sure." Buffy brightened. Angel wanted to talk to her! He would
probably explain his behavior with Willow, let her know that he was
protecting her because she was her best friend and had saved her life.
Buffy set Willow's suitcase down and bounced out of the room.
The hall was deserted. Angel let the door to Willow's room shut
slowly. He didn't want to leave her, but this had to be done. "Buffy,
we have to talk about Willow."
"It's okay, Angel. I was hurt at first that you were pretending to be
her husband, but I understand now. She's my best friend and you're
protecting her for me. Thank you." Buffy touched Angel's arm. She
reached up and pecked his cheek. She wished she could do more, but
there was the whole 'husband' charade to keep up.
He was afraid of this, that Buffy would make up reasons and
explanations in her mind before he had a chance to tell her how he
felt. Angel loved Buffy, he really did, but he wasn't surprised to
find that he loved her in a distant, first love way. He had begun to
realize that his love for Buffy was fading into memory when he had
come to comfort her at her mother's grave. It hadn't been a heart
wrenching experience to leave her. He had to face it, somewhere along
the line, he wasn't sure when - it could have been before he left
Sunnydale, after he had left, or just in the last few days - but he
had let go of Buffy and had fallen in love with Willow. He admitted
that to himself, but he wasn't about to tell anyone else - especially
Buffy.
"Buffy, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Willow because
I know she's still with us and that she'll get better." Angel looked
at Buffy to gauge her reaction so far. She was a bit perplexed, a
small wrinkle above her brow marring her complexion. The good thing
was that she wasn't mad. Yet. "I know this because I can feel her
soul. When Willow did the soul restoration it created a connection
between our souls. She wasn't aware of it and I never told her. It
was part of the reason why I left Sunnydale, it was easier for me to
shut out what Willow was feeling being so far away from her."
"Oh," was all Buffy could manage. The man - vampire - she considered
her soulmate was connected to her best friend's soul. How was she
going to handle this?
"There's more."
"Really." Buffy braced herself.
"In the Book of Lost Souls, Willow found another clause to my curse.
It would make my soul permanent." He watched Buffy's face light up
and stopped her from throwing herself into his arms. He gripped her
shoulders. "A while ago this law firm I've been battling brought back
Darla, as a human. I tried to help her, but I failed. Dru turned her.
I let them kill people - evil people, but still people. I fired
Wesley, Gunn, and Cordy and became obsessed with destroying Darla, Dru,
and Wolfram and Hart. I wanted them all dead. I hit bottom. I knew
complete despair and it made my soul permanent."
"Angel that's wonderful. I mean, I'm sorry you had to go through all
that, but it was for the best. Your soul is permanent." Buffy tried
to move closer, but Angel kept her at arm's length. She didn't
understand. They could be together now. Love each other. There was
nothing to stand in their way.
"I had sex with Darla."
Except that. How could he have...And with her? She was a vampire, but
so was Angel. "Only once?" At Angel's nod, Buffy sighed. It wasn't
like it had been a relationship. He hadn't loved Darla, it had been
just sex. Sex that made it possible for them to be together. And she
really couldn't judge when she had been with Riley. "Well, like I
said, your soul is permanent and that's all that matters. We can be
together."
"No." Angel didn't like doing this, hurting Buffy and dashing her
hopes, but she had a right to know. Maybe now that she knew his soul
was permanent and that their relationship still wouldn't work, she
could truly move on. "I'm still a vampire and you're still a slayer."
"That didn't stop us from falling in love." Tears flowed freely down
Buffy's cheeks. She gulped to get air into her lungs. Angel didn't
want her. He didn't love her.
"I know, but you deserve so much more, Buffy. You deserve to have
someone love you without guilt. There's too much in the past for us to
start again. I want you to find that person who can give you that
normalcy you crave so badly." Angel let go of Buffy's shoulders. Sobs
shook her small frame, but he didn't reach out to comfort her. It
wasn't his place anymore. "I'm taking Willow to L. A."
"What?" Buffy snapped out of her grief. She had to have heard him
wrong. Angel did not just say that he was taking her best friend away
from her. "Willow's staying here."
"It isn't safe for Willow on the Hellmouth. Last night a Bultak demon
tried to kill her and steal her power. Her supernatural abilities are
attracting demons now that its dormant."
"We can protect her here. I can protect her."
"She'll be safer in Los Angeles." This was the one thing that had
always irked him about Buffy, her stubborn selfishness. She saw him in
L. A. with Willow rather than Willow safe and away from the Hellmouth.
"In L. A., her power will be muted and the demons won't be able to
track her as easily. If she stays here, every demon within the town's
radius will be drawn to her. You can't protect her from all of them.
Do you want to take the chance that one of them might kill her? Do you
want to be responsible for Willow's death?" Angel knew he was being
harsh, but that was the only way to get through to Buffy. She would
never do anything that would jeopardize Willow's life.
"And what does Xander think of your wonderful plan?" Buffy placed her
hands on her hips. It was obvious that her protests would be ignored
and that Giles had already agreed to this insanity. Xander was her
last hope. He might have backed Angel when he lied about being
Willow's husband, but he would never trust Angel enough to let him take
her away and keep her safe. He hated Angel.
"I'm fine with it." Xander stepped around the corner. He had left to
see Anya that morning and tell her about the plan he, Angel, and Giles
had come up with and had returned around the time Angel and Buffy had
stepped out into the hall. He had hung back, not wanting to interrupt,
but not wanting to leave either. He was curious about how much Angel
would tell Buffy. He hadn't actually expected the vampire to
effectively break up with the slayer and firmly close the door on their
relationship. His feelings for Willow did run deep. "Deadboy and his
crew will keep Willow safe in L. A. He knows I'll stake him if he
doesn't." He smiled to soften his words and to let Angel know that he
did trust him.
"The doctor gave his okay and I've got Cordy setting things up in
L. A."
"How can you protect her in a hospital in L. A. any better than we can
protect her here?" Buffy threw her hands up. Without Xander's support,
she knew that she was looking more and more like a jealous harpy,
but she couldn't stop herself. She remembered the moment that she had
shoved that sword into Angel's gut and sent him to hell like it was
yesterday. The pain of losing him so violently and with what she had
thought, such finality, had been indescribable. It still haunted her.
When he had left her the second time, the pain had been different
because she had known that somehow, someday they would be together.
They had a second chance. She wasn't going to give it up. She wasn't
going to let him go. She couldn't feel that pain again. It would
kill her. "We can protect Willow together. You can't leave, Angel,
we have a second chance."
"We don't have a second chance, Buffy. I have a second chance. You
have a second chance. There's no we involved." Angel looked sadly at
the young woman he had once loved to the exclusion of all else. He
wasn't an idiot, he didn't expect Willow to wake up and love him. She
had no idea of his feelings for her and had been in love with someone
else, so he wasn't giving up Buffy because of Willow. He and Buffy
should have done this ages ago, but neither of them had been strong
enough. It had been easier to believe that it was the curse that kept
them apart, but they couldn't do that anymore. "The ambulance is
transporting us to L. A. in an hour. Xander is following in my car
and Anya will pick him up later. Good-bye, Buffy."
It couldn't be that easy for him. He couldn't just say good-bye like
that and mean it. Buffy turned and walked away. She wouldn't say
good-bye. She couldn't.
*****
The place was spotless. The Hyperion's lobby gleamed, but still
Cordelia fretted about, dusting the odd speck of invisible dirt. She
was nervous. Angel was bringing Willow back with him and she was hurt.
He had called and explained everything. How Willow had brought Buffy
back to life, how she had collapsed and almost died, how he had
pretended to be her husband to keep her on life support, how the demons
were attracted to her power because of the Hellmouth, and - the double
whammy - how his soul was permanent and connected to Willow's. It had
been quite the telephone conversation.
"It's okay, Cordelia," Wesley said quietly from his chair in the
corner. "He's still the same Angel."
"Except that he has a permanent soul and is connected to Willow. I
wonder how Buffy swallowed that one?"
"Considering that the girl brought her back to life and is her best
friend, shouldn't she be okay with it?" Gunn asked. He didn't know too
much about the Sunnydale people. He had asked Cordelia and Wesley a
few questions after Willow's witchy display, but he still didn't have
all the players straight.
"You don't know Buffy. When it comes to Angel, she's
obsessive-possessive." The front door opening stopped Cordelia from
saying anything further. Angel escorted in two paramedics who had
Willow on a stretcher. "Angel." Cordelia immediately walked over to
them.
"Is everything ready?" Angel led them toward the elevator. He nodded
a greeting to Wesley and Gunn.
"Yes, the room's ready." Cordelia followed along, trying not to stare
at Willow. She was ghastly pale and something had to be done about the
dark blue bruise-like smudges under her eyes. "I also called David
Nabbit. He's arranged for a private nurse to come check on Willow as
often as necessary until she's well. She'll be here in an hour."
Cordelia watched Angel closely as he oversaw the paramedics transferring
Willow to the bed. The conversation she'd had with Xander when she
had called him after talking to Angel was actually looking true. Maybe
she should apologize for calling him a moron. She had thought Xander
had been overstating things, but it looked like Angel did have feelings
for Willow, of the more-than-friends variety.
"Thanks, Cordelia." Angel smiled at her.
"No problem. Willow is my friend too and I want her to get well."
Cordelia hesitantly moved to the side of the bed as the paramedics
left. This was way too reminiscent of when Willow had been in the
hospital and restored Angel's soul. She looked so vulnerable. "She is
going to get well."
It was a statement, not a question and Angel was thankful that someone
shared his certainty. There was too much fear in the others for them
to be sure of Willow's recovery. They were afraid that if they didn't
prepare themselves on some level for her death, they would be
devastated when it happened. Angel couldn't fault them for it, but it
was another reason for Willow to be out of Sunnydale. "Thank you,
Cordelia." Angel enveloped his Seer in a hug. She was his best friend.
"Well, a girl can never get too much thanks."
"Angel, how's Willow?" Xander walked into the room. He experienced a
brief stab of jealousy at the sight of his ex-girlfriend hugging Angel.
First Buffy, then Willow, and now Cordelia - how mature did the vampire
think he had gotten in the last year? The guy was lucky he was head
over heels for Anya. Xander shook his head and decided to ignore Angel
and Cordelia's closeness. He knew it was platonic, Angel's feelings
for Willow precluded anything else. "Hi, Cordelia."
"Hi, Xander. Willow's all settled in. I've arranged for a nurse to
come by and check her." Cordelia gave her ex-boyfriend a tentative
hug. "We'll take good care of her."
"I know you will." Xander moved closer to Willow and leaned down to
talk to her. "I have to get back to Sunnydale, Wils, but I know you'll
be fine. I'll visit every weekend and next time I expect you to hold
up your end of the conversation, okay." He kissed her forehead. "I
love you."
"Hey, Xander, why don't you catch me up on the Sunnydale news while we
wait for Anya downstairs." Cordelia ushered Xander out of the room.
Angel was starting to fidget and she guessed he needed some time alone
with Willow. "Maybe we can even tell Gunn embarrassing stories about
Wesley when he first came to Sunnydale."
"Like how you used to drool over him?"
"Not embarrassing to me! I swear, Xander, if you say one word about
that then I'm telling Anya about...." Cordelia's threat was cut off as
Angel shut the door.
They were finally alone. Angel took off his jacket and shoes and sat
on the edge of his bed beside Willow. Her soul no longer flickered
through the link. It was as steady as her heartbeat. He took that as
a sign that their bond was getting stronger. He took Willow's hand.
Angel leaned down and pressed a kiss to Willow's lips. He laid his
head down on the pillow beside hers and curled himself around her body.
"Welcome home, mo ionuin bean. My beloved wife."
