Silence met Tara's venomous attack until she burst into tears. Xander
and Buffy both jumped up and went over to her in an attempt at comfort,
but Tara pulled away.
"I'm sorry, Tara, one of us should have called you." Xander touched her
shoulder tentatively. "How did you know that Willow was here?"
"I went to the funeral home. I thought she would be there, grieving
for Buffy. I found the book and Buffy gone and I knew what she had
done. She didn't have enough power to do that spell, she drained
herself bringing you back, didn't she?" Tara turned her tearful, angry
gaze back on Buffy. At this moment, Tara let the small sliver of
jealousy she had always felt toward Buffy blow up and over-ride
everything else. She knew that her relationship with Willow was
different from the one Willow shared with Buffy, but she also knew that
Buffy took precedence. If it came down to a choice, Tara had known
that Willow would choose Buffy and she had. Willow had left her, not
for 'boy's town' as she had thought Tara had been afraid she would,
but for Buffy.
"Willow isn't dead, Tara," Xander tried to assuage her anger. He led
her down the hall toward Willow's room. "She's in a coma, but she'll
wake up." They reached the ICU and walked to the window that gave the
nurses a view into Willow's room. She lay on the bed, machines beeping
and whirring around her. Angel sat on one side of her, holding her
hand, stroking her hair, and whispering to her. Spike sat quietly on
her other side just holding her hand.
"Who is he?"
"That's Angel. He, uh, has Willow told you anything about him?" Xander
hoped she had because it was a long story and it was going to be
difficult enough to explain Angel's lies. God, he hoped Tara went
along with them and didn't cause a scene. If she protested, then the
hospital might take a closer look at Angel's bogus claims and follow
through with Mr. Rosenberg's orders.
"He's Buffy's ex-boyfriend. She restored his soul. Why is he in
there with Willow?" Tara watched the souled vampire as he caressed her
lover's face. She watched his lips brush her temple as he leaned in to
whisper to her once again. She had a funny feeling that she knew the
answer to her question, but she didn't want to say it out loud. He was
acting more like Willow's distraught boyfriend than an ex-boyfriend of
her best friend. Tara was so engrossed in watching Angel's actions
that she almost missed what Xander was saying to her. "He said he was
what?"
"Her husband. That way he can keep her on life support as long as she
needs it. Her parents would have had it turned off." Xander cast a
glance at the others as they joined them at the window, hoping for
some support.
"Angel saved Willow's life," Anya offered the support her boyfriend
was seeking.
"No he didn't. Her body is alive because of the machines, but Willow
is gone, Xander." Tara turned away from the tender scene playing out in
Willow's room. She couldn't watch it anymore. "Her power is drained,
you don't recover from that."
"But she didn't use her power, she used mine." Dawn looked to Giles to
make Tara understand. "She still has hers."
Giles started to answer when an alarm at the nurse's desk screamed.
Immediately, the nurses jumped to attention, rushing into Willow's
room. The gang turned back to the room and watched in horror as Willow
convulsed on the bed. Angel held her hand and it looked like he
wasn't going to let go despite the nurse who was trying to delicately
extract his hand from Willow's. Finally, Spike intervened and dragged
Angel from the room as the doctor entered it.
"No, I...I can't leave her," Angel protested and tried to get around
Spike, but his grandchilde held him back. He felt his game face start
to come forth, but Buffy grabbed his arm.
"Angel, Angel, you have to let the doctor help her." Buffy rubbed his
back. Abruptly the blind shut off their view of the commotion in
Willow's room. Angel lunged for the door once again, but she and Spike
managed to keep him back. Buffy rested her head on his arm. "Willow
will be okay. She'll be okay."
"I was talking to her, telling her she was safe and she wasn't alone.
She started choking and the alarms went off." Tears leaked from the
corners of Angel's eyes. "I have to be with her. I promised I
wouldn't leave."
This time Buffy and Spike didn't hold Angel back, his re-entrance into
Willow's room was forestalled by the doctor and nurses filing out.
"Willow is fine," the doctor informed them before anyone could ask.
"She was choking on the respirator. This happens when it is no longer
needed. Willow is breathing on her own now."
"That's wonderful, Doctor," Giles spoke for the group.
"Yes, but she still isn't out of the woods. We don't know when she'll
wake from the coma." The doctor turned to Angel before he left. "You
can go back in now."
Angel couldn't wait to get back to Willow. She had heard him and she
was getting better. Buffy's hand on his arm stopped him again and he
turned to her with an impatient growl. "Angel, this is Tara, Willow's
girlfriend." He looked blankly at the girl Buffy gestured toward.
Willow was his wife, she didn't have a...Willow wasn't his wife. He
didn't know why his mind kept insisting on believing its own lie.
"I would like to see Willow alone for a few minutes, if her husband
doesn't mind." Angel caught the underlying jealousy in Tara's last
statement. She refused to look in his direction. He couldn't say no,
he had no right to keep her from Willow and why would he? From all
accounts, Willow loved this girl. He shouldn't have this
overprotective urge to keep Tara away from her. Overprotective, hah!
He was the one who was jealous.
"Yes, well, now that Willow has settled, I think it best that we leave
and come back later in the morning. Buffy and Dawn, you need to sleep
after everything that's happened and I need to look at this spell more
closely." Giles gathered Buffy and Dawn, fully intending to take them
back to his apartment and never letting either one of them out of his
sight.
"Giles, can you take Anya back to our place? I'm staying here with
Angel." Xander hugged Anya before she could protest. "You're tired and
you need to sleep. Giles is going to need you to look after the magic
shop tomorrow." He stroked her hair and kissed her. "I love you."
"I love you too." Anya changed her mind and left without voicing her
protest. She didn't want to leave Xander, but she understood that he
needed to be with Willow. She was proud that knowing that didn't make
her jealous. Xander loved her.
*****
Someone had turned down the lights in Willow's room. The steady beep
of the heart monitor cast an eerie green glow on her pale skin. Tara
stood over her. She didn't want to sit down. She didn't want to hold
her hand. She didn't want to do the things that Angel had already
done. Besides, none of it would work. The others were hopeful because
Willow was still breathing, but they didn't really understand how magic
worked. Giles had an idea, but he was refusing to admit that this was
something they couldn't resolve. Willow was dead.
"I knew you would leave me." She had known it since that morning when
they had their infamous first fight, the one that had left her
vulnerable to Glory's attack. That morning had been the worst day of
Tara's life, it was the day she realized that Willow wasn't hers. It
had started out innocently enough. She had wanted to help Willow.
Willow's magic was so strong and she was so anxious to explore it that
she sometimes forgot to learn how to control it first. Tara had
decided to surprise her with a soul bond. Through the soul bond, she
and Willow could share their strengths and weaknesses. She could give
Willow her ability to control their powers and Willow could give her
the absolute certainty that she had that their powers came from
some place good. After being brought up thinking she had a latent
demon gene, Tara couldn't quite place the trust that Willow did in her
magic.
The spell hadn't worked. Willow's soul had already bonded with someone
else's. Tara had thought it was Oz that morning and when she had gone
to the funeral home to find the book and Buffy's empty coffin, she had
been certain that it was Buffy, but it was neither of them.
"I'm sorry, Willow, I'm not as strong as you are. I can't do this...I
can't watch you like this and hope that you return to me someday when
I know you won't." Tara leaned down and placed a kiss on Willow's
lips. She had no illusions that Willow would wake up like this was
some stupid fairy tale. She was dead. Not even Angel could change
that.
*****
What the hell was taking so long? Instead of the still, desperate
patience he had shown while Willow was being treated in emergency,
Angel paced. This girl...Tara...had been in with Willow for hours -
okay, minutes - but it was way too long. Angel was afraid she would be
in there all night. She couldn't stay in there all night. If she
did then he couldn't sit by Willow's side, feel her hair slip through
his fingers and her warm hand in his, he couldn't hear her heartbeat,
well he could, but it wasn't the same. He wouldn't be able to tell her
that he was there. He wasn't.
"Angel." Xander halted the vampire's agitated movements. "Tara won't
hurt Willow. She loves her." He watched Angel's reaction to his
statement and caught the slight flinch. So, Anya wasn't off the mark,
Angel's idea to be Willow's husband hadn't come from out of the blue.
Funny how this knowledge didn't bother him. He accepted the maturity
that allowed him to see that Angel was a good, decent guy, and not the
evil, hated rival his immature male hormones had made him out to be.
"I'm sorry, Xander." Angel hung his head. It was obvious that Xander
didn't know what had happened, otherwise the boy wouldn't be talking
to him. "This is all my fault. Willow used Dawn's energy as the Key
to bring Buffy back. I broke the connection when it started to hurt
Dawn."
Xander placed a hand on the tortured vampire's shoulder. "Look,
Angel..."
"You what?" Tara cut in after overhearing Angel's confession. After
hearing it, she remembered what Dawn said just before Willow had
started choking on her respirator. Willow had used her power, not her
own. And this...bastard...who claimed to be protecting her was the one
who had hurt her.
"I broke the connection."
The slap cracked loudly in the hushed environment as Tara's hand
connected with Angel's face. The ICU nurse looked up from her station,
but didn't interfere. "You killed her."
"Tara, stop it." Xander pulled the girl back from Angel. "Willow isn't
dead. Her power wasn't drained like you thought. Can't you at least
try to have a little bit of faith? Willow never gave up on you."
"There is nothing to have faith in, Xander. It's even worse than I
thought. Dawn was Willow's power source and breaking the connection
created a backlash that fried her brain. There is no Willow to give up
on, she's already done it with his help. You killed her," Tara shouted
at Angel. She tore herself away from Xander and stalked away from
them. She couldn't stay here. Willow was gone and there was nothing
left.
"That was one pissed off witch. You're lucky she didn't turn you into
a rat, Peaches."
"Spike." Angel turned toward the voice to find Spike lounging in one of
the visitors' chairs. "I thought you left with Buffy."
"Nah, the over-protective watcher wouldn't have let me near her
anyway." Spike really didn't want to admit that he had stayed because
he wanted to keep an eye on Angel. The bloke didn't look good, more
tortured than usual. Spike didn't want him doing something drastic like
taking a walk in the sun if Willow didn't make it.
"He'll have to. You have to tell Giles what Tara said. It might help
with his research." Angel rubbed a hand through his hair. "And Willow
also said something about the book and an anchor before she...passed
out. It could be that she didn't have time to finish the spell and
Buffy's soul may still need an anchor."
Worry for the Slayer suddenly etched Spike's features. "I'm on it."
He swept down the hall.
"Let's go in and see how Willow is doing," Xander suggested and let
Angel precede him into the room. Even with the new information, Xander
didn't blame Angel. He sat down on the other side of Willow. She
was so still. It was strange to see her so still. Willow was always
moving and he knew for a fact that she was a restless sleeper. He had
the broken rib from when they were five to prove it. "She didn't tell
you that it would hurt her."
"I should have known. I did know, but I refused to see it until it was
too late."
"Even if you had, you couldn't have stopped her." Now that he had seen
her, Xander wasn't reassured. This sleeping wraith was not his Willow.
Maybe Tara was right. Maybe there wasn't any hope.
Angel looked up from his study of Willow's face to protest and saw the
doubt as the boy looked at her. For the second time that night, Angel
found himself confiding in one of the last people he had ever thought
he would be telling his secrets to. "She was wrong, Xander, Willow
isn't gone." Angel took a deep breath. Xander had reacted extremely
and surprisingly well to everything so far, but this might finally
send him over the edge. He knew how protective Xander was of Willow
and their friendship. "I can feel her. When Willow did the soul
restoration, it created a bond between our souls."
"She didn't tell us that." For a second Xander wanted to call Angel a
liar. He wanted Angel to be a liar. Willow was his best friend, if
anyone was bonded to her soul, it should be him.
"I don't think she realized it was there and I never told her. I tried
to shut down the link as much as I could, but it's still there."
"You can feel Willow's soul." Xander struggled to work past his initial
jealousy and really understand what Angel was saying. "She's not
gone."
Angel cupped Willow's cheek. He could feel her. A small glimmer of
warmth inside him. It would get stronger. "Willow will get better."
Angel and Xander settled into a companionable silence as they watched
over the red-headed witch who meant so much to them.
*****
Power. He could feel it like an echo resounding around the Hellmouth.
Phife's lone velvety ear swivelled around on his mis-shaped oval head
as he tried to pinpoint the epicenter of the delicious power. His pug
nose sniffed the air. It was witchy power.
The hospital. Phife's small, toothless mouth slobbered and his large,
milky grey eyes swam with glee. A witch had gotten herself badly hurt
and now lay helpless in the hospital. Her power was his for the
taking. As long as he got there first.
